by Isom Kuade
We have all heard the cliché that communication is the key to a great relationship. While this useful piece of information is good in theory, most of us don’t have a clue how to execute on it. Basically, it’s much more easily said than done, because once we decide to give voice to something, there’s no going back. There are no “take-backs” in honest communication, which is why many spouses decide to remain silent rather than face the consequences of their authentic feelings.
So we suffer in silence.
Day after day. Week after week. Month after month and year after year. Couples suffer in the silence they grow in their mutual garden. Honesty usually starts and ends with a look in the mirror and many of us would rather not take a look.
So again, we suffer in silence.
I’ve simply decided not to go down that road any longer. We’re all looking for acceptance at the end of the day, but we can’t be accepted without exposing ourselves.
One of the things I appreciate about my wife is her authenticity. If she likes you, she likes you and if she hates you, which is very possible, you probably know it too. At least either way you know its real.
I’m betting on acceptance through authenticity. That’s the kind of marriage I want. One which is true to us, because if you can’t be yourself with your spouse, then who the hell else are you going to be for all those years to come? That road seems unnecessarily tiresome and apathetically redundant.
Why not risk living in the marriage instead of silently suffering through bottles of wine and episodes of The First 48? Makes sense to me. I think I would rather build empires together. Sounds like a better “til’ death do us part.”
Isom Kuade is a writer, speaker, and entrepreneur on a journey to live his best life possible and taking as many people along for the ride as possible. He practices vulnerability and the redefining of what it means to be a black man in America on his blog isomKuadeJournal.com.