My husband cooks, cleans, and folds laundry. He is also pretty handy with tools, he mows the lawn, and he takes care of all those annoying issues that can come up around the house. Overall, he’s a great guy. He takes good care of us, and for that I am grateful.
Now, my husband isn’t like this by accident. If you’ve met his mom, you’d understand. I am certain that she made sure he knew how to take care of himself, and things around the home, at an early age. I thank her for instilling those values and encouraging those behaviors, because if she didn’t I’d probably be trying to keep up with things around the house right now instead of typing this.
I have a son who will turn three next week. A few weeks ago he woke up from his nap, came straight to me, and said “mommy, I woke up from my nap and I made my bed.” I thought “wow, that’s pretty impressive — let me go check it out.” And, you know what? This kid actually did a pretty good job making his bed. In that moment I realized that although we are far from perfect parents, we are doing a pretty good job with him when it comes to teaching him how to contribute to the household.
I know that one day our son is going to make a great husband for some lucky woman, and it won’t be just because he knows how to make a bed (although that certainly won’t hurt). I think he will be a great dad and husband because he will grow up understanding what it means to take care of himself — to take care of a home.
Currently, my little boy loves to help in the kitchen, and he loves to help me clean. Now, I am no fool. I know that most toddlers love to help mommy, and I also know that these behaviors will fade. At some point he won’t want to do any of these things. But, guess what? He will still be required to do them. It’s what we will expect from him.
I think that even in the most traditional relationship, a man should be able to help take care of the home. Doing so enables him to share the load with his wife, and it will help him teach his own children that the family is a team, and everyone has to do their part to make things work. Although I work outside of the home now, I was a stay-at-home mom for a year and a half. I can tell you that although I tried to maintain everything at home because my husband was out all day making a living, I sure did appreciate the fact that he would cook on weekends, and help with the laundry, because I was exhausted. In my humble opinion, regardless of gender, caring for an entire home and managing all household tasks alone is a whole lot for any one person to do.
And don’t worry; there is no double standard in my home. Our daughter is just 4-months-old, but once she is older I expect her to do the same chores as her brother. This is a team, and if the house is going to stay in order I expect everyone to do their part. Gender is not a factor. Both of my kids can become whatever they want to be, and both of them will be able to whip up a meal, take out the trash, hang up a wall fixture, and fold some laundry when they have to. Being able to cook and clean does not make a man any less of a man, and being able to use tools and fix things does not make a woman any less of a lady.
So, when my son is a grown man and he finds that special lady he wants spend his life with, I hope she knows that she’s got a good one. I hope she knows that we made a conscious decision about raising a young man that knows how to do it all — a young man that appreciates how much work goes into keeping a home in order. And, I am pretty sure she will thank us for it, because Lord knows I am thankful to my mother-in-law for how she raised my husband.
BMWK Family — What are you teaching your sons about contributing to the household?