by Nia Hughes
I can admit that I consider a few select shows a guilty pleasure. So when Lifetime Television began feverishly promoting the reality show Dance Moms, I couldn’t help but tune in. The show features one of the best dance companies in the country as they follow young girls on their journey to dance competitively. The dance teacher/director, Abby Lee, has a take-no-prisoners approach that meshes well for TV. The drama is only heightened by the stage moms who will gladly cut the other’s throat in order for their daughter to be considered the top seed. My own 2-year-old daughter started ballet this summer so I thought I’d get a preview of things to come.
Dance Moms was somewhat uneventful until one of the most recent episodes got my blood boiling and sparked quite the controversy nationwide. Episode no. 7 starts with Abby’s mother, Holly, walking in to find her daughter (the only Black girl in the class) in a jungle-themed costume. Abby asked Holly if she “had an Afro wig” for little Nia to wear in the upcoming recital, at which point Holly pretends to pull one from her purse.
By stark contrast, the white girls were angelic characters gracefully gliding across the stage while Nia was getting low and shaking it like a modern-day video vixen. Abby justifies her stance by letting Holly know that Nia is not a great dancer by any means.
To add insult to injury Nia is given the song “LaQueefa” to dance to. If you’re not familiar with the song, it originates from RuPaul’s drag queen reality show with lyrics that scream “the post-modern pimp ho….b***h” throughout. Obviously Holly was not aware of this or it was a case of good editing because this little nugget of information went unmentioned. Later post-recital Holly confronts Abby and a verbal confrontation ensues.
Abby Lee makes it clear that Nia and likely all Black dancers in her eyes will be stereotyped and typecast based on race; therefore, Nia must know how to drop it like it’s hot if she’s going to make it in the “biz”. According to Abby Lee, Nia is receiving a Martin Luther King Jr. scholarship paying much less than the white children which discounts (no pun intended) Holly’s right to an opinion.
It broke my heart for both the mom and little Nia. Holly was conflicted by the decision and ultimately let her child dance even though it went against her beliefs. In her eyes she made the best decision for her daughter at the time considering all of Nia’s hard work and practice. I’d like to think I would’ve stormed out of that dance studio with my daughter in one hand and my iPhone in the other ready to scout out a replacement. It’s our job as parents to protect our children from people who choose to put them in a box. A part of me wonders if Holly looks back and would’ve done anything differently.
I read several comments blasting Holly as a parent for not leaving immediately when she felt uncomfortable. Some went as far as to call her a “sell-out” for her comments about the afro saying no matter how much money you have or where you live, discrimination will always exist. I definitely agree with that sentiment. Some may say it was all contrived to incite drama but the fact remains that Black parents often have to make tough decisions that test our core values for the sake of our children.
What would you have done if you were Holly? Would you have stuck to your guns or let Nia perform?
Nia Hughes is a commercial real estate manager, wife, mother and new blogger trying to balance it all one day at a time. Returning to her passion as a writer with her blog Chic Working Moms , she writes on topics such as work/life balance, fashion, food and everything in between.