The battle of the sexes rages on even in and maybe because of marriage. There are two truths constantly in play and not always playing nicely together. Maybe that’s because we refer to it as a battle?
Too many times spouses get caught up in pointless and perpetual battles for superiority and “rightness” inside the home and out. The idea of working together is an often overlooked concept. Instead it’s about knowing you were right all along. Many times the journey together is overlooked for the sake of pointing out all the mistakes along the way. What plant grows when watered with vinegar? No team would ever function, let alone win a single game, if it operated the way many marriages do. A marriage is supposed to be a team of two unifed to be one. This is one of the strongest couplings humanity has at its disposal, not to be confused with giving up your life and getting lost in your spouse’s.
But in 2011 this is hardly the case, especially when emotions are involved, our media dominated society suffers from a short attention span and very few people have the patience or the strength to see things through together. Most have their “eyes on the prize” ready to trade up at a moments notice, convinced that they “can do bad all by themselves.” Truth is, this is the exactly the case, you’ve been doing bad all by yourself and it’s played out in every aspect of your life, including your marriage. This goes for men and women alike. If none of this applies to you then rest easy. If some or all of it does then take a look at what you’re doing and begin reinvesting into your marriage.
Below is a list of 10 Ways To Spice Up Your Marriage. The first six were generated from a discussion on my Facebook Page, the rest come from yours truly. Please feel free to add to this list the comments below. I’d love to see a long list of good ideas and advice evolve from this post. I hope that it will serve as a resource for all looking to add some spice to their relationships.
Try a few out for a couple. Try them all, if you like.
- Role play…I especially like pretending it’s the 1st time meeting! ~ Julita K.
- Do something — anything — differently from what you normally do.~ Tawnya A.
- Plan a getaway. Hubby and I try to plan weekend getaways…There’s nothing like breaking in a new hotel room 😉 ~ Trudy H.
- Send your spouse a text even if you’re in the same room tell him/her that you love the way they smile, the taste of their _______, etc. or you can simply say, “I’m so lucky to have you in my life!” ~ Joie B.
- Meet up for a date after hanging out with friends, bring home their favorite treat (dessert) or call them at work just to say, “I just need to hear your voice.” ~ Isa M.
- Spend a little time apart sometimes….seperate time out with friends can make you feel relaxed and its good to miss each other a little…besides you can sext with eachother until you get home 😉 ~ Yolanda L.
- Do what you used to do when you first met. Think about what brought you together. Think about what you did back then. What’s stopping you from doing that now (other than you)?
- Don’t do things for your spouse because you want something in return, or to quiet them or to stop them from complaining. Do what you know will make your spouse happy seeking only their happiness as a reward. (Don’t know/remember what makes them happy? Ask them!)
- FOR HUSBANDS: Step outside your comfort zone and do something you wouldn’t be caught dead doing. For example, invite your wife to a picnic and paint her toenails while you’re in the park in plain view of everyone. Bring your own nail polish remover and pick a color (or ask someone who knows) that looks good on her.
- FOR WIVES: Don’t give up on yourself. Your husband will stop loving you after you stop loving yourself. Of course this doesn’t apply to all scenarios but realize that no matter what self-esteem begins from within no matter how comfortable he’s gotten with you being in his life. He can’t take from you that which never belonged to him in the first place. He definitely needs to be your cheerleader but only you can allow yourself to be torn down. You’ve got to be confident and sexy for yourself before you can be truly sexy to your mate. BIG HINT: This has nothing to do with outward appearance or clothing. Also he may be trying his best to love you but you won’t let him because of your perceptions of yourself. [Side Note: If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a woman, mine included, downplay or reject a compliment…] Protect and then project the positive and it will come back to you. If it doesn’t that’s his problem, not yours. Get wild with yourself and he will want to get wild with you — sooner rather than later.
- Your turn… what words of wisdom will you add to this list?