When there are money challenges in a marriage things can be tough. You can let the challenge strengthen your marriage, making it stronger. Or, you can let it tear you apart. Please don’t let it tear you apart.
You can work together through the scarcity and draw in closer to one another. When you work together towards your goals you accomplish more than you ever could on your own.
My experience thus far has been that when finances are tight, women want to talk about it. They want answers, a plan, and a place of security. Financial security means a great deal to a woman. On the other hand, men tend to hold their thoughts inside, trying to work it out on their own. All of her talking about the lack of finances and the need for answers can act as a frustration to him rather than a help. It can cause him to feel like he is not doing well in supporting his family.
This scenario may not be true for all couples, so identify what is truth to you. Work together with your mate to support each other during this time and come out of this money situation on top.
Here are 5 emotions, 5 behaviors and 5 actions and to recognize and use for the benefit of your marriage:
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions.
Emotions can run high during money challenges. Emotions associated with a lack of finances can stretch far and wide. They may or may not include
- Frustration
- Impatience
- Anger
- Feeling all alone
- Becoming introverted and not talking
Recognize these emotions when they show up and acknowledge what they are doing to you and your family.
2. Focus on the Positive.
Keep your heart focused on the following positive behaviors:
- Kindness
- Patience
- Love
- Togetherness
- Goals and success.
The old saying, “When things get tough the tough get going,” is a great statement. It holds truth for the marriage relationship.
3. Work Together.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going by….
- Drawing closer to one another rather than fighting against each other.
- Searching for answers rather than rehashing the problem.
- Building each other up rather than tearing each other down.
- Budgeting for the future rather than blaming each other today.
- Sacrificing for the family rather than selfishly seeking one’s way.
Money can purchase a lot of things and pay a lot of bills but it cannot buy you love. Be encouraged to work through the challenges together. Remember cell phones and cable TV are luxuries. Do whatever is necessary to move forward together. Short comings in your finances are temporary but your love, your marriage is forever.
BMWK – how do you keep money problems from breaking your relationship?