So Jay-Z decided to add somewhat of a video postlude to his latest album “4:44” called “Footnotes for “‘4:44′” and the latest clip has set the internet, and maybe some marriages, on fire. In it, the rapper gets real about his less than perfect relationship with Beyonce and the fight to piece their broken marriage back together.
Claiming that his marriage was not built on “100% truth,” the Brooklyn reared superstar basically cops to the charge of infidelity leveled at him in Beyonce’s “Lemonade” album and discusses the challenges they faced trying to find their way back to each other. While Jay, born Shawn Carter, is no Dr. Phil, some of what he said might resonate with marriages and could offer a path to forgiveness that may help save relationships struggling to survive infidelity.
Keep It 100
“I just ran into this place and we built this big, beautiful mansion of a relationship that wasn’t totally built on the 100 percent truth and it starts cracking,” Jay states in the video. There are plenty of marriages that, taken at face value, seem impenetrable. They appear perfect and without defect. But when you take a closer look, the foundation isn’t solid and there are major cracks in the walls. If you can’t be real with your spouse and get to the 100% truth of what’s going on in your heart, your marriage won’t stand a chance. As Jay-Z puts it, “we just got to a place where in order for this to work, this can’t be fake…not one ounce.”
Fight for Life
“I’m from Marcy Projects…shot at…nothing’s harder than this,” he says. “By far, I’m telling you. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” Putting a marriage back together after infidelity is no cake walk. As Jay points out, even being shot at can’t compare to what you have to go through to bring a marriage back from that hell hole. If either party isn’t all in for the battle of their married life, then the process is bound to fail. No matter who’s at fault, it’s going to be tough on everybody. Make a decision to fight for life and the person you have chosen to share it with.
Tear Down and Rebuild
“Then we had to get to the point of, ‘Okay, tear this down and let’s start from the beginning,'” Jay-Z continues. Yep. That about sums it up. When a marriage has been destroyed by infidelity, the relationship has to be torn down to its foundation and rebuilt brick by brick. Coming clean about your feelings and making the decision to fight are just the tip of the iceberg. The real work is in the day to day act of rebuilding. Trust has to be reestablished. Love has to be restored. An unbreakable bond has to be reconstructed. It’s going to take work. But, like Jay-Z says, “I’m not saying it wasn’t uncomfortable, because obviously, it was.” If your marriage has been upended by infidelity and you want it to survive, you’ve got to roll up your sleeves and get to work.
BMWK, is there anything that Jay-Z says that resonates with you?