“The same things you did to get her you need to do to keep her!”
You hear people say this all of the time. And while it’s true, it’s not always as easy as one may think. The truth is that sometimes after the lust and infatuation fades and familiarity kicks in, we can become less conscious of the little things! It’s not necessarily that we don’t care or we don’t love you anymore, it’s just that we get comfortable. Sometimes, as men, we just need a reminder and maybe this can serve as one! Here are a few things that your your woman may just love for you to start doing again!
1. Take Initiative
Remember when you were trying to get her, you took the lead. You planned the dates, you opened the doors, you made sure her car was washed and yard taken care of. Now suddenly, you’ve gotten comfortable and instead of planning anything you get stuck saying the infamous words “so what do you wanna do?”
Try This: The next time y’all are making time to spend together, instead of asking “so what you wanna do” say “so this is what we’re going to do.” Plan the date or getaway and ask her to just SHOW UP. She will appreciate the effort and she will find the leadership sexy. Oh and P.S. On the home front, start paying attention to some of the things that need to be done and anticipate some of those needs. Don’t ask…JUST DO IT!
2. Turn Up the Spontaneity
She loves the element of surprise, so ask yourself when is the last time you gave that to her. As we get older, everything tends to have more structure. But sometimes, she just wants you to forget the structure and just go with the flow!! Sometimes she wants to be taken off guard instead of having to follow the plan. This includes sexually!
Try This: Mid Week date night or an excursion are a wonderful way to break up the monotony, but not the same old structured or planned date night. Try something completely random. Pull out a nice outfit for her and when she gets home tell her to put it on. Plan a date or something nice and if you really want to turn it up pack her a bag and get a hotel room for one night. After the date is over arrive, at the hotel and now you may also get to have some of that spontaneous sex as well!
3. Get Your Sexy & Swag Back
When you were trying to impress her, you put on your best clothes, made sure your hair was cut, and your cologne game was ON POINT! Now suddenly, all she sees you in is wife beaters, basketball shorts and under wear and socks with holes in them. And to make it worse, all you ever smell like is Brut and Old Spice.
Try This: At least one day on the weekends, put on some real clothes. Also take her on a mall run with you to buy some new socks, and underwear, and go cologne shopping with her and let her pick out something that she thinks smells sexy on you! Oh and if that beer gut is getting too big, join a gym…she may like that post workout man smell as well.
4. Remember the Little Things
Remember you made sure you knew what all of her favorite things were and you made sure she knew how in tune you were with her. Remember the hand written notes and letters that now have turned into informal texts or email. Remember how you used to make sure to tell her how beautiful she was, and you kissed her every chance you could get. Now you don’t even notice that she changed her hair or bought a new outfit and now sometimes days go by when you don’t kiss or touch her.
Try This: Create a week of favorites for her. For seven days write a hand written note and leave it somewhere for her to find along with a favorite of hers (candy, tea, drink, book, movie…) Whatever it is, it will let her know that you are still paying attention. Secondly, make it a point to kiss her for 30 days straight, every day in the morning, when y’all get home, and before bed…until it becomes a habit again. Be sure to slip her some tongue from time to time too (if she is into that! HA)
Men sometimes we just have to be conscious of doing the things we used to do that our ladies loved so much! Oh and before you say “well what about the things she doesn’t do anymore,” just know that you can only control yourself and once you start doing the little things you will be surprised at how it may just start to be reciprocated! Be conscious & go back to the basics!