Every year I hear so much about what to buy your child for the new school year. But little is ever said about how to prepare your child for the year mentally.
So to all of my BMWK fathers, our role in helping to get our kids ready to take on a new year can never be overstated. I don’t know why and sometimes I don’t know how, but despite what we see in the mirror and know about our own short comings, our kids look up to us. Even if we have messed up in the past our children look to us for wisdom and guidance. As this school year gets ready to gear up, there are five conversations that every child needs to receive from dad.
1. The “Let me pray for you” conversation. The first most important conversation a dad can have with their child is prayer for them. Pray for their wisdom, pray for their safety, pray for their teachers, pray for their friends. As adults, we have really made prayer quite confusing. But, it is really simple. It is just a conversation with God, in this case, on behalf of your child. Just have a conversation with God about whatever you or your child is concerned about – from algebra, to dating, to the bully. Ask God to help them and also to help you, help them. God is not an ATM that gives us every material thing we ask for, but if we just ask for help and have a faith-filled expectation that he really can do it, then get ready to watch what God will do for you and your child.
2. The “Respect yourself” conversation. The beginning of the school year is a great time to remind your young one the value of respect. Our children are constantly confronted with images and thoughts that shape their sense of respect for themselves – sexual images, images of greed, and money above self-respect. So we need to talk to them about having respect for their teachers, respect for education, respect for their classmates and respect for themselves. Remind them to respect the process – Listen to your teachers, get everything they are giving, be polite and don’t let anyone short change you of your education.
3. The “Be encouraged” conversation. If you played a sport growing up, you probably remember the talk that a coach would give before the game. They would go over the scouting report of the other team, they would remind you what was important to succeed and that failure was not an option. Throw in a few “go team go’s” and you were ready for the big game.
This school year give your child that same type of pre-game speech, filled with the same level of encouragement, fire and belief in them that a old football coach would. A short conversation from dad to say, “I believe in you,” can have an immeasurable effect on a young child. “You are destined for greatness, your were born to succeed, so got get it, this is going to be a great year and I as your father will be there to support you all the way.”
4. The “School is important” conversation. When I think back on my own school experiences it was not all that fun. Everything about the academic side of school was wrapped in – “You have to…you better…you must…and don’t bring a bad report card back in this house!” It was actually pretty intense and not that exciting. However, if a child can see beyond the outward pressures of doing well in school and start to inwardly grasp in some tangible practical way why math, science, history and social studies is important, their entire attitude about school just might improve.
I play this game with my son where we count Jeeps, Motorcycles and Mustangs on the way to school. It is silly but it makes learning to add and subtract fun – for my son. I already have a good handle on it – LOL. I have also found that it places a significance on math that works better than simply saying, “You better do well in math.” The same holds true for every subject. Whatever they end up doing their education is surely going to take center stage and getting them there.
5. The “I got your back” conversation. A child needs to know that dad is there for them. School can sometimes be a scary place, between the academic and the social aspects it can be daunting. Remind them you are with them. When the school falls short, let them know I will be there for you and when classes get challenging let them know I will be there with you. Let them know that even if I don’t know how to do it I will level every resource I have to help, because I am your dad and I am here for you.
These five conversations all come back to one thing and that is teamwork. The start of the year is a good point in the year to reassure them that as much as they have a disciplinarian they have a dad that cares for them and is willing to walk with them.