Some things in life are worth fighting for, while others just aren’t. The decision about whether or not you should fight for something can be an easy one, but that usually isn’t the case. Usually, making that decision is tough. There’s often a lot to consider, and it can be hard to differentiate between what seems easiest and what’s actually best.
So what do you do when the decision you are making is about your marriage? How can you determine if your marriage is worth saving, or if you should cut your losses and walk away from it all?
It’s never an easy decision. Even for people who are truly unhappy, walking away from a commitment as serious as marriage is hard. After all, your plan was to stick around forever. For some people, turning away from a promise like that means accepting defeat. No one likes to accept defeat. No one likes to walk away from something that once meant the world to him or her.
If your marriage is in trouble and you are struggling with whether or not it is worth saving, you should consider these reasons for trying to save what you have.
You feel loved, respected, and supported.
Believe it or not, many people are in marriages that are missing these three key factors. It’s sad, but true. If you have a partner who consistently makes you feel loved, respected, and supported, it sounds like you may have a good one.
I’m not suggesting that your spouse is perfect, because no one is, but I am suggesting that they have really good qualities. That said, you might want to think about whether or not walking away is truly the only option you have.
Your spouse “gets” you.
I don’t think I appreciate anything about my husband as much as I appreciate the simple fact that he “gets” me. In all my crazy randomness, he really understands who I am and how I move through the world. I cherish that. If your partner “gets” you, your marriage may be worth working on.
You have a shared vision for your lives.
A shared vision is a beautiful thing. Many couples don’t even have a vision for their lives, let alone a shared vision. If you and your spouse share a vision for your future, maybe there is more you both can do to work through the challenges that you currently face.
You’ve survived a lot and the love hasn’t faded.
If you still love each other just as much as you did when you first got married—despite facing many challenges—you may have something that is truly able to stand the test of time. The ability to sustain your love through the ups and downs of life is a powerful thing.
You’ve never gone to counseling or therapy.
I am a firm believer in the power of counseling and therapy. That said, if you are in a bad place in your marriage, but you have never been to any form of counseling or therapy, I strongly suggest that you consider it. I think a struggling marriage can always benefit from outside help before anyone ever considers the idea of walking away. Your marriage deserves that much.
BNWK family, what do you think are good reasons for saving a marriage?