Habits are usually tough to break. We’ve displayed them for so long they begin to feel natural and commonplace. Those around us come to expect certain behaviors from us. Habits can be either good or bad; some gross and some giving and generous. We can do our best to break the bad ones, but the good ones we may just want to hold on to. Especially when they benefit someone other than ourselves.
In addition to the rituals we carried with us into our marriage, we must also create some new ones. However, these can’t be just any old rituals. They need to create something powerful for the relationship. Addressing yours and your spouse’s needs and creating a safe space for love and honesty to grow, are just a few. If you’re anything like most couples, and your goal is aimed on having a better marriage, it’s time to incorporate a few new healthy relationship rituals.
1. Pray and worship together. A couple’s bond is made even stronger when they are able to be silent, meditate on scriptures and pray together and for one another.
2. Being verbal about what you need and what your spouse is doing right. When we ask for what we need, it usually speaks to things we don’t feel are going well. Instead of finger pointing and blaming our spouses, we can use this space to highlight what’s most important to us. It should come across as our greatest needs and should focus on the things that help us in feeling loved, appreciated and listened to.
3. Assessing challenging situations before we react negatively. Getting in the habit, of listening, processing and making a good choice must come before we yell, fuss or fight. In troubled situations it’s easy to respond based on our emotions, not realizing our emotions can sometimes be misleading. During disagreements it’s helpful when we gather all the facts, understand how we’re feeling and use love in our approach toward resolution.
4. Kiss, touch, hug, cuddle, make love, look into each other’s eyes, hold hands, rub feet, soak feet, wash hair, and massage backs. These are a few of the physical actions that should occur in marriage. They should happen even when we’re tired or upset. Touch is so powerful and can have such a healing power during times of need.
5. Laugh, laugh and laugh. Another awesome habit is laughter. It’s good for the soul. Laughter reminds us “life ain’t so bad at all”. When we can still find things to smile and laugh about we’re in a good place. We should get in the habit of looking for the joy and pleasures in our marriage.
Remember, at any moment a troubled marriage can turn into a healthy one. Of course it’s going to require a deal of effort from both partners, but it can be done. The healthy rituals we create today can lead us toward a marriage that endures the tests and trials of time.
BMWK, what healthy rituals have you created for your marriage?