Many singles desire to be married. Unfortunately, most singles spend their time dreaming of their wedding day and seeking a spouse rather than preparing to be one. Think you are ready for marriage? Here are 5 key areas that most overlook when preparing for marriage.
Lesson 1 – Know your why
Ask yourself, why do you want to be married? What purpose does marriage serve in your life? What purpose will you and your mate fulfill together? When you put marriage in that context marriage becomes more about purpose rather than a next step.
As a single person, how financially savvy are you with your money?
Instead of focusing on meeting your spouse, concentrate on pursuing your purpose. When you concentrate on your purpose, you become more in tune with who you are, your wants and desires. As such you will attract and connect with someone who is purpose driven and like-minded.
Lesson 2 – Do the work
Outside of being attractive, fun loving, outgoing etc., what do you bring to the relationship? In marriage, as with any relationship, you have good days and some challenging days. Ask any married couple and they will tell you that marriage is work. A successful marriage requires both spouses to be selfless, forgiving, willing to compromise, honest, communicators and the list goes on. Here are few questions for you to consider:
Do you have the fortitude, the tenacity, the ability to die to your desires and compromise for the greater good of the relationship?
Are you able to put your desires on hold so that someone else can pursue their desire before you?
Are you ready to forgive even when every part of you wants to lash out and make the person pay for hurting you?
Are you ready to be vulnerable and express your true feelings, wants and desires?
Are you willing to be transparent and accountable?
Are you ready to handle these types of issues and many more or do you have a little more work to do? Marriage is beautiful especially after you’ve done the work.
Lesson 3 – Check yourself
Many singles have stated that they will be glad when they meet their mates so they won’t have to deal with particular problems or issues. Their perception is that their lives will be better and/or different after marriage.
Unfortunately, it won’t. If you don’t deal with your issues, responsibilities and/or challenges prior to marriage they won’t disappear after marriage. Take a look in the mirror and conduct a self-check. Do you have any lingering issues which need to be resolved? If so, deal with YOU before bringing someone else into the situation.
Lesson 4 – Get money savvy
Finances are one of the #1 problems which leads to divorce. When you get married, you usually combine your financial resources. Your independent financial decisions no longer effect you but the entire household. Are you ready to share financial responsibility? Are you ready to compromise when it comes to money management? Are you ready to be accountable to your spouse regarding your finances?
As a single person, how financially savvy are you with your money?
How do you handle your finances? Do you pay your bills on time? Do you have a savings account? Do you have investment accounts? Are you maxed out on your credit cards? Do you have a good credit score? Do you budget your money? Do you spend your money as soon as you receive it? Do you wear your money, save your money, drive your money or invest your money? Are you ready to be accountable regarding your spending? Are you ready to manage a household on your paycheck?
These are key financial issues which need to be addressed individually and as a couple prior to marriage.
Lesson 5 – Know what to expect
Do you know what to expect out of marriage? If it’s the wedding day, you aren’t ready. If it’s the fact that you won’t be alone anymore, you aren’t ready. If it’s what happens in marriage – the two becoming one, fulfilling their God ordained purpose while “doing life” and all that that entails with their partner and best friend – then, you might be on the right track.
Hopefully, these self-reflective topics will allow you to look at other key areas which need to be addressed prior to marriage. Many people are in love with the idea of marriage but aren’t prepared for the reality that comes with it.
BMWK, Are you ready for marriage?