This year marks 20 years since I first laid eyes on my husband. Whew! I seriously can’t even believe that number even as I type it. But yes, we met when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore in high school. We were chatting about it the other day and it really hit home just how long we’ve been in each other’s lives. Twenty years sounds like a really long time, but I now truly understand the phrase “it feels like yesterday”. But even after almost nine years of marriage, I can truly say that my husband gets more phenomenal with every year that passes.
Now this doesn’t mean that everything is perfect or close to perfect. But, it means that the imperfections are perfect for us. It means that all of the great things he does far outweighs those moments of disagreement.
While there is no one size fits all formula for being the most amazing husband ever, there are certain things that husbands can do to be exceptional…to be phenomenal. Here are a few that put my husband in this category.
1. He indulges in my guilty pleasures.
I don’t have a lot of guilty pleasures. But ice cream, cookies and Grey’s Anatomy are at the top of the list (in that order). When I’ve had a rough day or just because he wants to put a smile on my face, and he comes home with my favorite ice cream, that’s the definition of love on top. Or when we stay up late after the kids are in bed to catch up on the one show we watch together, it puts me in a happy place.
2. He doesn’t sugarcoat, and he holds me accountable.
If it’s one thing that I can say about my husband is that he doesn’t let me off the hook easily when it comes to achieving my goals. If he sees me getting stressed or overwhelmed about something, he immediately lends a hand to help me get back on focus (even when I may not want to). If I’m working on something and need his opinion, he’ll offer suggestions on how to make it better.
3. He encourages me to get out.
For the most part, we’re both homebodies at heart. But I’m definitely the social butterfly of the two. He never makes me feel guilty for hanging out with my girlfriends, or going out to just be by myself. He never questions me, but instead encourages me because he knows that’s what I need to maintain my own self-care.
4. He tells me things like “you’re wonderful dear” or “you’re amazing at what you do.”
There is nothing like hearing loving words of affirmation coming out of my husband’s mouth, especially when it’s “out of the blue”. It takes me to the moon and back because sometimes, actions are just not enough. While we may get family and friends to tell us these same words of encouragement, there is nothing like hearing them come from my husband. Nothing.
5. He listens to me (even when I think he’s not.)
There have been so many times that I have casually mentioned needing to pick something up from the store or order online, and my husband has surprised me with it. Most of the time, I don’t even recall that I mentioned it to him. But it’s always a nice surprise when I see it. It reminds me that if something as small as a 3-ring binder is important to me, then it’s important to him too.
6. He helps me run the household like a well-oiled machine.
I have to tell you, that as I’ve been working to build success systems in my business, I’m even more aware of how important it is to have success systems for your personal life and family. I’ve had to make several last minute trips or plans recently (once to be a guest on the Dr. Oz show and the other to be a guest on WHUR’s The Daily Drum). But because of the systems we have at home, and because he’s a phenomenal husband, I was able to go without any questions. He was able to pick up where I left off, which makes for less anxiety on my end.
BMWK: What makes your husband so phenomenal?