I recently read an article written by a man about men, black men in particular. Although married, he outlined reasons why men prey on women weaker than them and he also warned women that should they enter the game (dating, love and relationships) thinking they have the upper hand they’ll lose. It was a warning to all who read it. In the comments, several women applauded the author for his honesty and they thanked him for giving them a leg up when entering relationships with men””black men. My first thought was, How old is this guy, 13? My next thought was, When will this end?
I cannot begin to tell you how grieved I was by this article and many of the comments that followed. As a grown man, a committed husband and a loving father of two I don’t understand why this story isn’t changing. And why it is constantly being broadcast with no solutions. Here is a basic reality: All men ARE NOT dogs. In fact, most men are not dogs. Many would give their all to be in a long-term committed and loving relationship. I know several men personally who have complained of wanting to get married and start families. Sadly despite their hearts and characters, women aren’t interested in these men for one reason or another. Reasons can vary from income to appearance. What these women do want however is the ladykiller, a.k.a. the dog, the beast, the bird of prey””men who all but advertise that this is how they are living.
When I Was A Child I Spoke As Child
Eventually there comes a time when a man has to grow up. And you can spot them if you look for the right things. Grown men don’t care to associate with boys other than their own children and that’s even a stretch at times. Therefore you’re not going to find grown men at the club (unless dragged out of the house by the friends), nor will they be at the more popular lounges (a laid back club) in your town. However, you may notice them coaching a little league game, volunteering at a nonprofit or sitting alone reading in a coffee shop or at the movies. You may not see him at all because is is too busy working long days and hours as he pursues his dreams or just tries to make ends meet. This type of man is neither sad nor pitiful nor old. He is established and comfortable with who he is and isn’t concerned with popular opinion, unmoved by what’s in style today or what will be in style next week.
You can expect a grown man to ask you more questions about yourself than advertise his own accomplishments. If he has his own form of transportation, even if it’s a little flashy, it will probably not enter the conversation unless you bring it up. He will open doors for you. He will pull out your chair at the dinner table and his wallet won’t go missing when it’s time to pay the bill. When he’s dropping you off, if you tell him you don’t need to be walked to your door he will definitely wait until you’re safely inside before driving away. He will respect you and encourage you. He will challenge you to be the best person you told him you wanted to be. Should a disagreement come up between the two of you he won’t start beating on his chest talking about what he doesn’t take, but rather he’ll try to resolve the issue as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Right now women might be thinking, “A dog can do all these same things.” True, but a man who is looking for someone to share his life with will be consistent. Someone else will only do these things until he gets what he wants.
If you want a man and not a boy made of puppy dog tails, then stop chasing around after the puppies and retrain your thinking and vision to allow a man to enter your world. But be prepared: a real man won’t stick around for long once he discovers he is involved with a woman who is neither prepared for what she claims she wants or isn’t all that real herself. If this should happen this man is not a dog, he’s simply someone who know what he wants.
Women of BMWK, do you know what you want?