I have this friend and I want to tell you about her. She is so super cool. I’ve known her for about 15 years. We met in my home town in Indiana. She is very kind and always helpful. She is a hardworking, God fearing Christian woman with her own catering business in Indianapolis. She refers to my son as “our son” and I love her daughter. In fact her daughter has spent the night at my house, as well as my son at hers. She is a great cook and when she throws a barbeque she puts “her foot” in everything! Right now I am helping her transition to natural hair by offering support and advice.
The interesting thing about our friendship is how we met. We met through our children’s father. It just so happens that she and I both have a child by the same man. My son and her daughter are siblings. I promised that I wouldn’t say it this way and she hates to be referred as such, but let me say it a different way… we are both his “baby mama”! and we are also friends. My son is the oldest age 18 and her daughter is 14. Neither of us are with the father. I am happily married to someone else and she has moved on as well.
I really can’t remember how we became actual friends, I just know that she had good energy. Once my relationship with the father was over there were never any hard feelings. When they were dating she came over to meet me because they were getting serious and she was going to be spending a lot of time with my son. I welcomed her with open arms. I’ve given her my ear throughout the years and vice verse.
Our children are 4 years apart and when her daughter was born, my son was so happy! He was 4 and said that he was going to the hospital to pick out his baby! My husband also gets along well with my son’s father. We both welcome him into our home whenever he visits Atlanta. From the beginning both men agreed on discipline and both supported my son with football.
I believe that our situation is not unique but maybe rare. Maybe its not even rare, but you just never hear about blended families where everyone gets along. All you ever hear about is “baby mama drama” this and “baby mama drama” that. According to society we are not supposed to be friends. According to society we are supposed to be mortal enemies. Right?
When I spoke to her about writing this post she was excited and agreed that I should write it. We wanted to let society know that all of that fighting and “drama” is not necessary between old girlfriend/spouse and new girlfriend/spouse, ESPECIALLY and most importantly when there are children involved. The bottom line is this… She and I decided a long time ago that we wanted our kids to know each other and be true siblings. We put them first before everything else and we just got along. Drama has never had a place in our relationship. Our children are healthy and well adjusted and remain close. As we watch them grow we have no regrets.
Families can be blended in many different ways. Do you get along with your spouses previous significant other?