I have this friend and I want to tell you about her. She is so super cool. I’ve known her for about 15 years. We met in my home town in Indiana. She is very kind and always helpful. She is a hardworking, God fearing Christian woman with her own catering business in Indianapolis. She refers to my son as “our son” and I love her daughter. In fact her daughter has spent the night at my house, as well as my son at hers. She is a great cook and when she throws a barbeque she puts “her foot” in everything! Right now I am helping her transition to natural hair by offering support and advice.
The interesting thing about our friendship is how we met. We met through our children’s father. It just so happens that she and I both have a child by the same man. My son and her daughter are siblings. I promised that I wouldn’t say it this way and she hates to be referred as such, but let me say it a different way… we are both his “baby mama”! and we are also friends. My son is the oldest age 18 and her daughter is 14. Neither of us are with the father. I am happily married to someone else and she has moved on as well.
I really can’t remember how we became actual friends, I just know that she had good energy. Once my relationship with the father was over there were never any hard feelings. When they were dating she came over to meet me because they were getting serious and she was going to be spending a lot of time with my son. I welcomed her with open arms. I’ve given her my ear throughout the years and vice verse.
Our children are 4 years apart and when her daughter was born, my son was so happy! He was 4 and said that he was going to the hospital to pick out his baby! My husband also gets along well with my son’s father. We both welcome him into our home whenever he visits Atlanta. From the beginning both men agreed on discipline and both supported my son with football.
I believe that our situation is not unique but maybe rare. Maybe its not even rare, but you just never hear about blended families where everyone gets along. All you ever hear about is “baby mama drama” this and “baby mama drama” that. According to society we are not supposed to be friends. According to society we are supposed to be mortal enemies. Right?
When I spoke to her about writing this post she was excited and agreed that I should write it. We wanted to let society know that all of that fighting and “drama” is not necessary between old girlfriend/spouse and new girlfriend/spouse, ESPECIALLY and most importantly when there are children involved. The bottom line is this… She and I decided a long time ago that we wanted our kids to know each other and be true siblings. We put them first before everything else and we just got along. Drama has never had a place in our relationship. Our children are healthy and well adjusted and remain close. As we watch them grow we have no regrets.
Families can be blended in many different ways. Do you get along with your spouses previous significant other?
Mrsladyrae says
This is a blessing. I’m a part of a blended family and even though it hasn’t always been easy I can say through the grace of God we are much better now.
Stacey Taylor says
I am glad to hear that you are much better now. Thanks for reading
Lisa says
Very inspirational! This is the way that it should be, unfortunatley it doesn’t happen this way for everyone. The most first relationship that child witnesses is that of their parents. Congratulalations and God Bless each and everyone of you. Putting the children’s needs over individual ego’s is a rarity in this day and age.
Stacey Taylor says
Thank you very much. We are truly blessed.
Anna Mae says
Great story and a great example for others to follow. My situation will never be like this lol, but I’m happy that yours is 🙂
Stacey Taylor says
I appreciate that Anna Mae! Thanks for reading and never say never 🙂
Anna Vira says
Thanks For Sharing You Story….Good To See YOU TWO taking Such Big Steps & moving On & Not Dwell On What Happened … I Want God To Give Me Heart Such As yours Too… i am not in such situation but still having a heart to be able to trust GOD & lOVE AS HE DOES IS A gIFT wOMEN sHOULD dESIRE 🙂
Stacey Taylor says
Its good that your are hanging in there Anna! Good luck to you and thanks for reading 🙂
Melanie Mathis says
That’s a great article. I am civil to my husband’s baby momma. But I don’t like the fact that all she does is play our children against each other,and dangle her son from a string to control his father. Which I believe she needs to grow the heck up and act like a real woman. Not use their son to get back at my husband because she is still angry and bitter.
Stacey Taylor says
Melanie, don’t worry about what she is doing. You cant change anyone, just be the best you and stay positive. Thanks for reading.
Niki Glass says
This sounds just like my situation but I guess you can say I have a double blended family. I have 3 children by my kids Dad and he has a son by another woman, and although we didn’t particular care for each other in the beginning once she had her son it was all about the kids. She know resides in a different state and she has moved on and I am married. Every summer she will send her son to stay with my husband and I to make sure our kids remain close.
When I got married I inherited 4 beautiful girls whom all have different mothers. Wow! is right but thankfully I get along with all the moms, I love those girls as if I gave birth to them myself. We don’t us the word (step), those are my daughters and my husband treats my kids the same way. There is no Drama unless you allow Drama. ALL MY CHILDREN get along as if they were all raised in the same household, truely a blessing…….
Stacey Taylor says
Wow Niki! That IS truly a blessing and wonderful to hear. Thanks for sharing your situation!
Lorilyn says
This is a great post… It just confirms that I was not totally insane for trying to at least be on friendly terms with my husbands ex for the sake of our children…Her daughter and my two sons…. I am very glad to know it can be done….I wish I could say it went as well as these ladies but I can’t…It could possibly be because her and my husband dont really get along…I dont know….But I really tried and my husband warned me she would take my kindness for a weakness, and she did…So, now there is that New Wife/Old Girlfriend kind of tention that I didnt want…..But, It does make me smile to know that it can be done if you want it too.
Stacey Taylor says
Lorilyn,
At least you tried. that’s all you can do. Glad it made you smile. Thanks for reading.