by Carmen Jones
Everyday our children are bombarded with unhealthy images of “beauty.” Although some magazines are slowly diversifying, largely, the American media defines beauty as thin, blonde, and blue-eyed, a standard that young, Black girls will never be able to meet. This feeling of ostracization can lead to low self-esteem, emotional issues, and self-destructive behavior.
Parents play an important role in the development of a young girls’ self-esteem. While we’d all like to believe that beauty is more than skin deep, the truth is, when we feel better about ourselves, physically and emotionally, we stand taller and carry ourselves prouder. So how do we encourage our daughters to have a healthy level of self-esteem? Check out these tips:
“¢ Encourage a Positive Self Image“”Some parents discourage vanity in their children but a positive self image contributes to a child’s emotional well-being and promotes a healthy image of self. Let your daughter look in a mirror and describe the things that she likes about herself. The more she believes in her own beauty, the harder it will be for others to make her feel uncomfortable about it.
“¢ Pick Role Models that Look Like Her“”When it’s time to pick posters for her room, suggest pictures of Chanel Iman, Liya Kebede, Joan Smalls, Tika Sumpter and Ataui Deng. Children idolize and often want to be and “look” like these celebrities. Let your daughter know that beauty comes in all shades including her own.
“¢ Remember That You Are Her First Role Model“”Even as adults, we often feel the media pressure to look like a human Barbie doll. In your daughter’s eyes you are about as perfect as perfect gets so resist the temptation to complain about your jiggly thighs or prominent nose in front of her. Fathers should also refrain from criticizing mom’s weight, hair or make-up in front of the child.
“¢ Shower Her with Praise“”We all crave positive attention and your daughter is no different. In fact, encouraging words and doting praise will help her develop a healthy sense of her own worth. If your daughter has a smile that lights up the whole room, let her know it and encourage her to smile often.
“¢ Acknowledge that Words Do Hurt“”My mother was fond of making me repeat the phrase, “Sticks and stones make break my bones but words will never hurt.” It’s a good sentiment but the truth is, words do hurt and children are sensitive as to how they are perceived by others. When your daughter tells you someone called her fat or ugly, don’t just dismiss it. Talk to her about how she feels about what the person said and explain why it’s not true.
What other self esteem boosting tips do you use a parent?
Carmen Jones is a an author of both romance and children’s books. She is also the creator of Deeply Rooted Beauty LLP, an all-natural hair care line created for women of color. Find out more about her at www.deeplyrootedbeauty.com