Even the best of us have been hurt. There has been a man who has come along and taken advantage of or mistreated the woman he was supposed to be caring about.
This person may be a male friend, a previous husband or even your father. No matter his title the common thread is that he should have been in your life to do you good and not harm.
Related: If you are having trouble dealing with hurt from your past, click here.
When someone does you wrong the memory of that thing can linger and affect how you relate to the man in your life today. Here are 3 signs that the man in your life is paying for the sins of the former.
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You judge his actions by the men who have done you wrong.
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You are closed to even his earnest attempt to please you.
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You haven’t healed from the hurt of your past relationship.
Hurt is real. Let no one tell you to just get over it. It doesn’t work that way. It is a process and will take time for wounds to heal. Just as when you scrape your knee, it does not heal overnight. It heals in time with the proper care. The wound is examined to take inventory of the damage. A disinfectant is applied to cleanse the area. A bandage is applied for protection.
A natural scab forms to allow healing to begin in a sterile environment. When healing is almost done the scab falls off to expose new fresh skin that is still tender to the touch but will strengthen as time and good care continue. Boundaries are set around this new fresh skin – be gentle, don’t touch it because yelling, screaming and tears may follow if you do.
So it is with you.
Go through the process of healing just as with that skinned knee.
Once your heart is healed, you will be less likely to judge your mate’s actions against the other men who have wronged you. As well, your healed heart will be more open where it was once too fragile and guarded.
This article is written to females but the coin can easily be turned as men are hurt by women just the same. Healing needs to take place in either case.
If you take care of number 3, go through the healing process. Then number 1 and 2 will take care of themselves as a byproduct of healing. Your husband is not your ex, nor is he is your father. Allow him to stand alone, not being compared to others. Do it for yourself, for your mate, and for your marriage.
BMWK, in what ways is your spouse paying for the mistakes of your last relationship?