I swear I have the world’s best mother-in-law. She’s sweet, thoughtful, loving, giving and a great grandparent to my daughters. She loves her children more than anything and has always accepted me as part of the family. My mother-In-law is also an outstanding cook who loves to feed us. She sometimes even prepares meals for us to take on the road.
During one of those to-go meals, my husband mentioned how great his mom’s breakfast potatoes tasted. He also went on to say I should ask her how she prepares them. This statement definitely says my potatoes don’t taste the same, which of course I already knew. I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not quite at my mother-in-law’s level of cooking just yet. But I am confident I will get there. But although my husband prefers his mom’s cooking over mine, I don’t feel like I’m in any type of competition with her. I’d also rather have her cooking. I’m also open to the feedback she gives on parenting, removing stains out of clothing and planting a garden. Whatever advice I receive from someone more experienced than me, I’m taking it. Especially, if it’s someone whose results I have actually witnessed. I don’t have to feel like she’s taking over, I am confident that my husband’s heart and mind has room enough for the both of us.
Unfortunately, there are many wives who find themselves in a constant battle with their in-laws. It usually centers on them thinking their mother –in- law is trying to run the show. And some feel as though they were competing for the love or attention of their spouse. This of course adds unnecessary stress to any relationship.
But there is always hope for even the most difficult in-law relationship. I have found a couple of truths we all must recognize in order to get along with our in-laws.
- One being they have our spouse’s pasts. Some memories can’t be replaced and we shouldn’t even try to replace them. There will always be emotions and memories tied to certain situations.
- Another one is the fact, and yes it’s a fact, our in-laws love our spouse just like we do. Even though we may not show our love in the same form, our actions are usually based in love, so are our in-laws.
- The last truth is that we hurt our spouse when we don’t get along. This should be reason enough to put forth an even greater effort.
Marriage requires energy. We’ll face certain struggles. Some days won’t be easy. But we shouldn’t add to it by having unnecessary conflict with our spouse’s family. We must do what’s needed to make it work, for the sake of love.
BMWK, do you feel like you’re competing with your in-laws?