By Eric Payne
Most of us know that it doesn’t take much to make a baby. But becoming a father is a process — a conscious decision one makes and sticks to for the long haul, for better and worse. Although it would be nice, you don’t have to have big muscles, be made of steel or be able to leap tall buildings or dodge bullets. You can be short, tall, skinny or fat. Being Dad means being protector, servant, administrator and caregiver. Sometimes, all at the same time. and knowing when is the best time to wear each or all of these hats. It is singularly one of the greatest and most meaningful experiences a man can have. But without a doubt it is the most challenging for those who put their heart and soul into it. It’s as easy as A, B, C, and as real and enjoyable as every letter down to Z.
As Dad”...
Always bring your A-Game when it comes to your kids. As soon as you get home, leave everything that’s wrong with the world at the front door. It’s showtime and you’re the main attraction, whether you realize it or not. All eyes are on you — even when you’re tired and really don’t feel like it.
Believe in your children even when they don’t believe in themselves. It will carry them and add surety to their steps.
Calm down and take a deep breath or even leave the house for a walk around the block if you should ever get so angry with your kids that you lose sight of yourself. And if you’re not able to do this on your own, make sure your wife can.
Dance with your kids until you’re drenched in sweat, until it hurts or until they don’t want to anymore. Families remember the music they make together for generations.
Experience the little things with your kids — a walk in the park, an impromptu game of catch, a visit from the tickle monster, sitting together in front of the window to watch the rain, drawing and coloring together. The opportunities are endless”...
Fear can be a great motivator. But make sure your kids fear the idea of upsetting you rather than the mere idea of you.
Give your kids the opportunity to speak and hear them out, even when they’re talking crazy (but of course within reason). Self-confidence has as one of its roots the belief that as a person has a right to an opinion and the right to voice it.
Help your children in any and every possible — when they ask and sometimes when they don’t. But make sure not to smother them or prevent them from doing something they should be doing themselves.
I is not the first letter in family and isn’t in father at all. Don’t lose who you are as an individual, but you can kiss your days as a fancy-free bachelor goodbye. Don’t dwell on it. Move on.
Jealousy directed at your children on any level has no place in parenting.
Kindness prudently distributed will foster more respect from your kids than roughness or any other fabled “manly” actions for the sake of showing who’s in charge.
Love your child with all your heart and soul. Love when it hurts, love even when you’re tired from loving. Let love be your strength. Understand that loving your child might mean doing and saying some things that will cause them to lash out against you in the short run. You’ll heal, but they’ll be scarred forever if you work against their best interests to be “friends.”
Mentor at home first before ever considering doing it in your community.
Look for the conclusion in Dad ““ As Easy As A, B, C: Part Two coming soon”...
Be well.
Follow Eric on Twitter, or you can find him on his Facebook Page, the companion to MakesMeWannaHoller.com, his blog on fatherhood and marriage. Check out his restaurant reviews and NYC tourism articles at NYMetropolista.com. He’s also a contributing writing for Atlanta-based J’Adore Magazine.