Parenthood is a real job. Of course, in this country, we don’t treat it like that. But it is nothing short of a “real job.”
It took me a long time to realize this.
I wanted to be a great mom. An impeccable mom. That meant being available for my children’s needs, putting them first, bending over backward to make sure they had what they needed. Planning for their growth and development, changing course as needed to ensure they were successful.
Seems like a job to me.
So why did I feel guilty taking a break from it? If I was at an office job, no one would expect me to sit at my desk for 15 hours straight every day and never ever taking a vacation day ““ or even a weekend off.
If motherhood was a job I’d have to clock in and out of, I would have amassed so much overtime and be on the verge of burnout so regularly that my bosses would have sat me down and demanded that I use some of my paid leave.
But since my “bosses” are 5 and 3, it doesn’t quite work like that. I need to be the boss, watching how long I’ve been on the clock and giving myself a break when needed.
I wrote last week about needing a vacation (without the kids) and it’s true. We do need to take a break from time to time to not let the stresses pile up.
When you think about our roles as parents in the context of “real work” (and I doubt that anyone who’s spent more than a day as a parent would disagree), it becomes much clearer what we need to do:
- Strive for continuous improvement.
- Set expectations and appropriate rewards/punishments when our kids meet them.
- Set aside time to assess our growth as a family.