Parenthood is a real job. Of course, in this country, we don’t treat it like that. But it is nothing short of a “real job.”
It took me a long time to realize this.
I wanted to be a great mom. An impeccable mom. That meant being available for my children’s needs, putting them first, bending over backward to make sure they had what they needed. Planning for their growth and development, changing course as needed to ensure they were successful.
Seems like a job to me.
So why did I feel guilty taking a break from it? If I was at an office job, no one would expect me to sit at my desk for 15 hours straight every day and never ever taking a vacation day ““ or even a weekend off.
If motherhood was a job I’d have to clock in and out of, I would have amassed so much overtime and be on the verge of burnout so regularly that my bosses would have sat me down and demanded that I use some of my paid leave.
But since my “bosses” are 5 and 3, it doesn’t quite work like that. I need to be the boss, watching how long I’ve been on the clock and giving myself a break when needed.
I wrote last week about needing a vacation (without the kids) and it’s true. We do need to take a break from time to time to not let the stresses pile up.
When you think about our roles as parents in the context of “real work” (and I doubt that anyone who’s spent more than a day as a parent would disagree), it becomes much clearer what we need to do:
- Strive for continuous improvement.
- Set expectations and appropriate rewards/punishments when our kids meet them.
- Set aside time to assess our growth as a family.
Microwave Love says
If this is a real job, where is my raise? I’m about to type up my resignation and put in two weeks notice on account of undue stress and unpaid wages. Just kidding! (kinda)
sunsetssplendor says
Sometimes I think I should treat parenting like a real job but I’m much more lax than my parents were.
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Jperry says
I don’t know of I think of parenting as a job, as much as I think of it as huge responsibility. A job has direct, quantifiable benefits with a definite beginning and end. You can resign from or change jobs when you get tired of, frustrated with, overwhelmed by or under-appreciated at it. If I start treating parenting in that manner, I’m going to have some reall issues. I am confident of this,my job as a parent is not to be perfect, but faithful. I take my role as a parent even more seriously than my my role as an employee and I am a pastor!
Charlesanna Gladys Thomas says
Parenting shouldn’t be treated as a job, it’s a huge responsibility, yes. Children are not asked to be born, but when they are our lives and a lot of our wants should take a back burner. Here are human beings who are depending on their parents to mold and shape them into the best adult they can be. I raised three girls and no it wasn’t easy, but I thank God for a good support system. My mom and aunts were essential in helping me. Being a single mom with my first two girls and working third shift they were there for me. I worked third shift for sixteen years to be the parent to go to school, take my children to the doctor and anything else that came up. When I got married my older girls were 12 and 8 and I have the third who is now 14. I promised my girls to help give them the best education they could get and to raised them to be fine well disciplined indivduals. My oldest is 28 and have a MBA and a good job on her way to great career in healthcare, my next is 20 and studying to be a doctor and my baby is 14 and planning to be a sports therapist. My goal is to raise them up as the Bible says and send them out in the world to make their own lives and then my husband and I will enjoy the fruits of our labor.
beeee says
charlesanna I love love your perspective. i hope to raise children like you. its a huge responsibility, a sacrifice, but they didn’t ask to be born so we owe them our best throughout their childhood. i am trying to find a job that is flexible enough to allow me to be there for my son more, he is a baby now and i used to work a stressful corporate career 10 hour days but he is the priority now and then again i have to work to provide for him so its a struggle trying to find that balance. i hope my child/children grow up to be fine adults like yours sound.