Sometimes couples cannot find resolutions to issues they have in marriage and decide to separate from each other. Many times, couples go as far as getting a legal separation which allows them to legally live apart while keeping the marriage in existence. I think a couple should try marriage counseling before someone moves out of the house. If after counseling a couple’s problems cannot be resolved, there needs to be a serious discussion about whether they need to stay married. I believe couples should be careful about a separation because it leaves too many doors open that should remain closed. I’ve shared two major issues that can lead a couple from separation to divorce.
What’s behind door number one? Adultery. When a couple is separated, one or both partners may feel they are free to have other relationships. This could be implied or stated by the couple. Even if the couple agrees to see other people while they are separated, adultery is still being committed. But what if the couple states that the other is not to date and someone breaks that agreement? Not only has the trust been broken, but what if the wife gets pregnant by someone else or the husband gets someone else pregnant? The probability of divorce increases.
What’s behind door number two? Unsympathetic friends and family. There may be friends and family members that didn’t want the couple together to start with. Now they have the opportunity to pounce on the vulnerable spouse. They may tell the person that their spouse is unworthy and should proceed with divorce even if the person is not ready to take that step. The couple needs to be careful with information they share with friends and family especially if the friend and/or family member has no desire to encourage or be a source of support. What happens if the vulnerable couple allows a friend or family member to voice too much of a negative opinion about their spouse? The probability of divorce increases.
Separations may work for some couples if the time apart is brief. For some couples separation may be what keeps the marriage together. However, if a couple is not willing to work on the marriage and sees separation as a way to have a break from being married, their careless actions may come with harmful consequences. If a couple chooses separation as a resource to work on their marriage, they should be upfront and honest about the expectations during the separation. Careful thought needs to be given to the decision because a separation can be a stepping stone to divorce.
BMWK – Do you think separation can lead to divorce?