You can't quite put your finger on it. You're not sure what it is, but something's off. For a while, things between you and your spouse have been off-kilter. There are days where you barely talk and on the days you do, your conversations are as dry as the Sahara. Yeah, something's off. Naturally, you become more observant and certain behaviors have your gut in a knot. You don't … [Read more...]
The Cheater’s Guide to a Lifetime of Faithfulness
If you were raised in a similar environment to me, I bet you know this two sayings, “What is done in the dark will always come to light.” Sound familiar? It's all too familiar to me as God worked it out alright. Now, I know the headline, "A Cheater's Guide to a Lifetime of Faithfulness," might throw you off. But another saying, “God works in mysterious ways,” might help you … [Read more...]
My Husband Committed Adultery Twice and Had Two Kids: Has My Marriage Run Its Course?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been married for 21 years. My husband had two affairs early in our marriage that resulted in 2 love children by different women. I decided to stay for our 3 children. My husband has to pay support for these children and I had a lot of anger about having to struggle. I had to be the one who always worked multiple jobs so that my 3 kids did not … [Read more...]
Adulterous and Abusive Wife: Do I Have Grounds for a Divorce?
Good afternoon Dr. Buckingham, My wife and I have been married for 19 years. I will admit the marriage has been on rocky ground from day 1, with the exception of the birth of our children. My wife has been verbally abusive the majority of the marriage; she yells and screams at our kids and rarely apologizes when wrong. A few years ago, I read a text message my wife wrote to … [Read more...]
How to Keep Those Negative Memories from Torturing You After Infidelity in Your Relationship
Sometimes all it takes is a familiar fragrance in the air to arouse your nose, or a random song playing on the radio, to trigger a memory. You smile as you hear “Anniversary” by Tony! Toni! Tone! (Yep that is still a jam) and feel refreshed—unless... it happens to be the perfume worn by your spouse’s side piece, or the song that was playing when you found out about the … [Read more...]
How to Overcome 6 Barriers to Forgiveness After Infidelity Threatens Your Marriage
Have you been unable to forgive your spouse for being unfaithful? Even after he or she has proven absolute re-commitment to you, you know within your heart you have been unable to forgive. Something is preventing you from forgiving. It can be one or a combination of barriers that need to be identified immediately in an effort to heal and forgive. According to our society … [Read more...]
Men: At Last, the One Simple Thing that Women Really Want
Listening to music today is totally different from years ago. Romance has been replaced with role reversal, explicit sex, and stories of unhealthy relationships. Somewhere between the promiscuity and the perceived lack of good men, relationships have gone astray. Both sexes are complaining about the other and it appears that more division, than unity is taking place. In the … [Read more...]
Stop “Waiting To Exhale”! Unpack The Emotional Baggage And Build Lasting Love
Are you free to love? We all say we want successful relationships. However, some people carry so much emotional baggage that it hinders them from freely loving the people in their lives. Emotional baggage is a term used to describe unresolved emotional issues, which can be detrimental to the individual. Relationships can be challenging enough without the added pressure of … [Read more...]
My Wife Continues to Cheat, What Should I Do?
Dr. Buckingham, My wife and I have both committed adultery in the past and I thought it was behind us until recently. I found out back in December that my wife had an affair on me. The affair ended in November when the guy she had the affair with broke it off. Since then my wife has joined a band that this guy is in and doesn't believe this to be a problem. My Wife Continues … [Read more...]
My Husband Has An Adulterous Heart: What Should I Do?
Hi Dr. Buckingham, My husband and I have been married for 3 years now, but he has been cheating on me even before we got married. When I was pregnant with our daughter, an ex-girlfriend of his was also pregnant by him too. Our babies would have been a few weeks apart but she had a miscarriage. After our daughter was born, he promised that he would stop cheating and I forgave … [Read more...]
My Spouse is A Chronic Cheater: What Should I Do?
Hi Dr. Buckingham, My husband and I have been married for 3 years now but he has been cheating on me even before we got married. When I was pregnant with our daughter , his ex was also pregnant from him as well. Our babies would have been a few weeks apart but she had a miscarriage. After our daughter was born, he promised that he would stop cheating and I forgave him and … [Read more...]
Ask Dr. Buckingham: My Husband Is Sexting with an Ex: What Should I Do?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I've been married almost 2 years come May. My husband and I have been butting heads for awhile now. I found out 5 months after we were married that he was entertaining text messages from his ex-girlfriend. It started right after we were married with a "congratulations" on Facebook and progressed into sex-texting. I found out because he slipped and hit his … [Read more...]
Does Separation Lead to Divorce?
Sometimes couples cannot find resolutions to issues they have in marriage and decide to separate from each other. Many times, couples go as far as getting a legal separation which allows them to legally live apart while keeping the marriage in existence. I think a couple should try marriage counseling before someone moves out of the house. If after counseling a couple’s … [Read more...]