You can’t quite put your finger on it. You’re not sure what it is, but something’s off. For a while, things between you and your spouse have been off-kilter. There are days where you barely talk and on the days you do, your conversations are as dry as the Sahara. Yeah, something’s off. Naturally, you become more observant and certain behaviors have your gut in a knot. You don’t want to believe your spouse is cheating but you can no longer ignore some potential warning signs. Here are some reasons to trust your gut if you think you have a cheating spouse.
3 Reasons to Trust Your Gut If You Think Your Spouse is Cheating
- Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away.
- Whatever the problem, it won’t fix itself.
- Finding the truth is the first step towards healing.
The mere possibility that you, yes you, have a cheating spouse is enough to send shockwaves through your system. You just can’t believe it. You’ve seen it happen to your friends. You’ve watched it on TV. In fact, you’ve even shouted at your screen and offered up advice to the faithful spouse. This can’t be happening to you…right?
Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away
When the light goes on in your head that your spouse may be cheating, you want to switch it off. You never thought having a cheating spouse would ever be a thing in your lifetime. After all, that’s not what you signed up for. So even though your gut gets twisted every time your partner walks out of the room to talk on the phone, you pretend there’s nothing wrong. You find a “rational” reason to excuse the behavior. But then, ten other things follow that make it so you can no longer turn a blind eye.
You know, little kids have this belief when they’re playing hide and seek. They think that if they close their eyes, no one will see them. Don’t fall into the same trap when it comes to the possibility that your spouse is cheating. Just because you close your eyes doesn’t mean the problem’s not there. Regardless of whether you choose to forgive or choose to move on as a result of infidelity in your marriage, don’t ignore the warning signs. Trust your gut, face the problem, and decide on the next steps for your relationship.
Whatever the problem, it won’t fix itself
If you’re remotely interested in saving your marriage, it’s time to trust your gut and face the issue in your relationship. Dealing with a cheating spouse may be difficult, but by and large, cheating is the end result of an underlying issue in the marriage. Though it’s the coward’s way out of addressing the real problem, cheating typically has a precursor.
- Maybe your spouse wanted more intimacy but you’ve been too busy.
- The financial stability in your relationship is suddenly rocky and your spouse can’t adjust.
- Whether it’s at home or in public, your partner just never seems to have your back.
Whether it’s by one or all of the above, or something else completely, your relationship has taken a hit. Your spouse, who has clearly been impacted by the problem, has decided to find comfort in someone else. That’s the kind of scenario that you shouldn’t try to handle on your own. That’s the kind of problem that won’t fix itself. A big reason to trust your gut if you think your spouse is cheating is so that you can finally address the root cause of the infidelity. Get professional help handling the issue and decide what direction is best for your relationship.
Finding the truth is the first step toward healing
If there’s a chance to save your marriage, your gut is telling you to take it. You shouldn’t ignore it and you definitely shouldn’t try to handle it alone. Of course, you’re scared. In fact, you’re more likely terrified. You don’t want to become a spy in your own home but you also can’t sleep at night. You still love your spouse and want to trust them. But your gut is telling you to trust, but verify.
If you have confirmed that your spouse is cheating on you, whether it’s emotional, physical or otherwise, you can now begin the healing process if you are so inclined. Sure, you will most likely go through a plethora of emotions before you can even think about healing. But if you continue to ignore your gut feelings about the relationship, you’ll never be able to take the first step. Whether that first step is healing your marriage or healing your heart, trust your gut and take it.
You have invested a lot in your relationship with your spouse. Whether it’s one year or twenty, the two of you saw something in each other worth committing to for a lifetime. But somewhere along the way, something changed. There’s now a rift between you and infidelity signs are blaring. If your gut is telling you something, listen to it. You may find that your spouse is as faithful as the day is long. But, you may also find they have turned elsewhere to get their needs met. Whatever the case, trust your gut and find a way to get to the truth. Regardless of the end result, the truth will set you free.
BMWK: What’s your gut telling you about the fidelity of your spouse?