You can't quite put your finger on it. You're not sure what it is, but something's off. For a while, things between you and your spouse have been off-kilter. There are days where you barely talk and on the days you do, your conversations are as dry as the Sahara. Yeah, something's off. Naturally, you become more observant and certain behaviors have your gut in a knot. You don't … [Read more...]
Spouse Cheated? 30 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Calling It Quits
After infidelity in our relationship and prior to making a decision to call it quits, I thought long and hard about what to do. Notice I did not say the “D” word! If you are like me, you have learned over the years the seeds you plant and nurture will take root and grow. Therefore, I have made it my business to intentionally not allow myself to even … [Read more...]
The Cheater’s Guide to a Lifetime of Faithfulness
If you were raised in a similar environment to me, I bet you know this two sayings, “What is done in the dark will always come to light.” Sound familiar? It's all too familiar to me as God worked it out alright. Now, I know the headline, "A Cheater's Guide to a Lifetime of Faithfulness," might throw you off. But another saying, “God works in mysterious ways,” might help you … [Read more...]
Here’s the One Thing You Must Do If Your Spouse Is Cheating
Have you reached a point in your marriage where you suspect something shady's going on but you're not sure? Now, you simply have to know what’s really going on? Like I always say, “You cannot conquer that which you will not confront.” So, in this article that is part of chapter four (Confront & Conquer) in my book entitled Love After Adultery: The Breakthrough Journey of … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Fight for Your Marriage (and Win) After an Affair
Affairs are messy. I'm not trying to be glib but for lack of a better word, messy just fits. Everything becomes a mess when a man, or woman, "puts asunder" what God has joined together in holy matrimony. When asked to write this article, I was first reminded of the fight of my life. My marriage had become a mess and was breathing its last. Sadly, I saw no way to resuscitate it. … [Read more...]
Can Unwavering Loyalty Change a Cheating and Troubled Partner?
Hello Dr. Buckingham, I'm a 32-year-old woman, and I've been involved with a man on and off since I was 16. We were never married. We have two children together. I would say things were great for years until we turned 25. At 25, he fell off track. He lost his job numerous times for his recreational drug use, he stopped taking care of us and we were in a financial ruin. I … [Read more...]
I Keep Cheating on my Wife; How Can I Make Myself Stop?
Hey Dr. Buckingham, My name is Craig, and I have cheated on my wife a few times. I really love my wife and family, but I admit I think I have a problem. My wife wants to end our marriage, but I want to do whatever it takes to save what I truly want—my marriage and family! What kind of help do I need? Thanks in advance, Craig Dear Craig, Without knowing exactly what … [Read more...]
It’s Not You, It’s Men: Rev. Run and Tyrese Discuss Why People Cheat, So Here’s What to Do About It
On this week’s episode of It’s Not You, It’s Men, Tyrese & Rev. Run discuss: Why men cheat? Prior to the start of the show, 89% of the studio audience polled admitted to being cheated on or having cheated in a relationship. This kicked off the dialogue of why men cheat. What follows are arguments and counterarguments on the topic: Men are wired that way Tyrese stated that … [Read more...]
How to Deal with Your Emotions After You’ve Discovered Your Spouse is Cheating
"Last night was well worth it” read the text from my husband’s mistress. Needless to say that is one text I will never forget! If you are anything like I was you may have just discovered that your spouse is having an affair. What should you do now? You suddenly feel shattered. You can’t catch your breath. You are furious and devastated at the same time. Okay, so what … [Read more...]
6 Brazen Signs Your Spouse Might Be Stepping Out on You
Life has taught me that cheating doesn't have to be an automatic end to your marriage. You and your spouse relate on a number of different levels. Even though trust has been broken, you still love each other and share various aspects of life. That love, along with multiple threads that still connect you, may have been stretched almost to the breaking point. But, they can … [Read more...]
My Husband Impregnated a Hood Rat: Can Our Marriage Survive His Deception?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been married for 20 years. We have two daughters. My husband cheated on me with someone that I believe has low standards (Hood Rat). I found out 4 years ago because she sent me a nasty letter giving me details of their sexual encounters. I was crushed! (The man) who I thought was my best friend had become my enemy, not my husband. He … [Read more...]
How to Keep Those Negative Memories from Torturing You After Infidelity in Your Relationship
Sometimes all it takes is a familiar fragrance in the air to arouse your nose, or a random song playing on the radio, to trigger a memory. You smile as you hear “Anniversary” by Tony! Toni! Tone! (Yep that is still a jam) and feel refreshed—unless... it happens to be the perfume worn by your spouse’s side piece, or the song that was playing when you found out about the … [Read more...]
How to Overcome 6 Barriers to Forgiveness After Infidelity Threatens Your Marriage
Have you been unable to forgive your spouse for being unfaithful? Even after he or she has proven absolute re-commitment to you, you know within your heart you have been unable to forgive. Something is preventing you from forgiving. It can be one or a combination of barriers that need to be identified immediately in an effort to heal and forgive. According to our society … [Read more...]
How to Survive the First 30 Days After an Affair
Wow! So you’ve just found out that your spouse or significant other has been unfaithful! Heart breaking, right? I’m sure you have a million scenarios and questions running through that head of yours. Did someone say questions? Questions like… Now what? What do you do? What will people think? What will my family say? How will my kids react? Should I get … [Read more...]
What is the Best Way to Cope with a Cheating Spouse?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I read your article about a lady whose husband cheated repeated times in their relationship and numerous times with one specific woman before marriage. Luckily for her she found out prior to her wedding day, unfortunately for me I found out only in the second year of my marriage… At first my husband denied it, but when I started stating the facts he … [Read more...]