“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded [required]; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Luke 12:48b NIV
We all pray and wait patiently (and anxiously at times) for the one that God has for us to marry. We pray that they will treat us right, complement us, and have genuine love for us and others.
It’s just as important to ask yourself if you are willing to meet this person’s needs. It’s one thing to be able to care for them, support them, and love them, but are you willing to take on the responsibilities involved with who God entrusts you with?
It’s an honor to bring God glory with your spouse, and with that there is great responsibility.
Marriage is not all about romance; there is a lot of work, sacrifice and dying to self for the sake of the other person and the relationship. This is why it’s important to take your time and examine your partner and their heart in the beginning and know them enough before saying “I do.”
In Proverbs 31 we are told of this woman, a “wife of noble character,” who has set the tone for a godly wife today. Verses 11-12 say: “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
In Proverbs 12:4 we are confirmed that this kind of wife “is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay to his bones.” Ladies, if we aspire to be the women our future husbands prayed for, we have to develop a noble character.
There are the basics of noble character for both men and women, and it’s very important to live them genuinely in your life in all seasons. It starts with how you see yourself: are you whole, believe and work to live in holiness and righteousness?
For instance, if one goes into their marriage not whole, they will run the risk of leaning on their spouse to fill a void that only God can fill. This can cause stress and strain on the marriage that the enemy will try to take advantage of.
You are better equipped to meet your spouse’s needs in the relationship when you are not in confusion about who you are and when your voids are filled with God.
The men are called to high standards as well when it comes to meeting their spouse’s needs. We see it time and time again in today’s society as proven in Ephesians 5:28 “He who loves his wife loves himself.”
Related: If God really told you to lead her, then here are 2 critical things you must know how to do.
There are marriages that break up due to infidelity or abuse, and unfortunately those are rooted in either one or both parties not loving themselves. When dating or courting, you’ll notice if the person loves themselves or not by how they treat themselves, others, and you.
Proverbs also has rich wisdom and instruction for men of God, especially regarding the contents of their heart:
- “A good man obtains favor from the Lord…” (12:2),
- “A man of perverse heart does not prosper,” (17:20)
- “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (18:22).
Fellas—are you leading the woman on or are you leading her to Christ? Do you have pure motives and intentions with the woman you are interested in or dating? Ask the Lord to reveal any parts within your heart that need work.
Take the time to answer for yourself am I what God would consider to be a good man? Let the word of God lead you in that journey of self evaluation.
We won’t go into marriage perfect people, but the more personal growth and issues that you can handle now in your single season, the better you’ll treat your spouse and the more peaceful your future marriage can be.
Hey BMWK fam, how are you dealing with personal or spiritual issues that could bring harm to the relationship and marriage?