“There should be a consistency that runs through us all. For Jesus doesn’t change—yesterday, today, tomorrow; He’s always totally Himself.” Hebrews 13:8 MSG
One of the most irritating things to go through in dating is what some call “the switch up.” It is when you thought all was going well with someone and then out of nowhere you don’t hear from them anymore, in any way.
Or what they used to do for you earlier in the relationship has faded away. Things got too familiar and comfortable, or less effort was put into the relationship by them, you, or both. Having gone through that before in my life, it’s led me to truly appreciate the trait of consistency.
Related: Do you know when to draw the line in your relationship? Check out this article.
Examples: for men, consistent women help make their lives go smoothly and more peacefully. For women, a consistent man allows us to feel confident in the relationship, therefore more trusting, open and free to be ourselves. See the connection here? Consistency in how you treat the one you’re dating sets a tone for relationship growth, not stagnation.
Having consistency in thought, speech and behavior is an important thing to possess. It’s hard to find nowadays because our culture is prone to giving things a go ’til we get tired of something or exhausted our use.
When it comes to having healthy relationships, we can’t rely solely on feelings anymore; we need to make wise and sound decisions that line up with who we are at our core. Consistently staying true to yourself will yield better results than being flaky or unreliable.
As in everything in life, you can’t be totally effective if you are inconsistent. We learn this from the scripture “a double minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8 KJV). Don’t be this person! We will often hear of this person in a sermon or message and pray that we’re not double minded, but our actions may say otherwise. Living consistently takes effort daily; you can’t switch it to auto like a machine.
Singles, we have to make sure that we are being consistent and faithful individuals to what we are a part of now and that will reflect in our relationships.
And that does not mean boring or predictable.
Consistency equates to faithful, reliable, and steadfast. It also means you are being consistently faithful, consistently loving, and consistent in all of the other fruits of the Spirit. A switch up in your behavior means that you may need to reexamine your fruit.
Are you only pursuing a woman with flowers, impressive date locations, and good morning texts because that’s “what you’re supposed to do in that stage” or is that a part of your character? (Some people give gifts as their love language).
Whatever you start doing is what will continue, because as you start a relationship, there’s an expectancy that has been established based on prior consistent behaviors.
Related: Check out the 4 stages in a successful courtship
If a man is consistently calling you at inappropriate times of the day yet you don’t address it with him, guess what? He’s not going to change that because his consistent inappropriate behavior has been positively rewarded by your response.
If you don’t like what someone you’re dating does or changes up, you have a right to ask about it or give a respectful recommendation for a better behavior. We claim we know this, but do we do it? You teach people how to treat you.
One of the best examples of consistency is from the Lord Jesus Christ. As in the Hebrews verse above, Christ set the tone for how to live this life on Earth while He was here.
We can look to Him for inspiration on how to respond to, work with, love on, and deal with people in our relationships and lives. Knowing that His Spirit lives in us should give you the encouragement that you can do this. You can be consistent.
Hey BMWK fam, do you have challenges with consist behavior in dating?