Have you ever met an attractive person with great qualities and wondered why they’re single? I think most of us can say yes. Now, tell the truth: have you ever thought that something must be wrong with them because they’re single or unmarried? I’ve been guilty of this too, but this mindset is not towards every single person I meet. But every now and then I wonder: they’re … [Read more...]
Single and Dateless? No, You’re Not Hopeless; You’re Reserved by God
If there's one prayer I've been certain of speaking often these days, it's the prayer for the Lord to help me stay hidden. I don't want to stay hidden as if I'm afraid to be seen by men but in terms of keeping me from the wrong men. I pray He reserves me for the man that He has in mind for me. God proves to us time and again that He loves us, protects us and preserves us. … [Read more...]
Singles: 4 Love Lessons That I’ll Take Beyond My 20s
As I reflect on this past decade of my life and welcome my 30s, I’ve learned a lot about relationships and about myself. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but at this age, I’ve realized that they were lessons that didn’t simply wound me but became opportunities to help someone else. As we all continue to live and learn in love, we take some vital wisdom with us from those … [Read more...]
Singles: These 3 Things Are Paramount in Preparing Yourself for Your God-Given Spouse
We all say we are in search of real love. Many of us are praying for that real love, standing in faith that God will deliver a real love into our lives. However, if that kind of love came to you tomorrow, would you be ready to receive and maintain it? I thought about it. If I had to answer my own question, I'd honestly say no. As much as I’d like to have my real, true love … [Read more...]
Singles, Before You Give Up on Getting Married, Read This
“I know You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:1 “If I don’t get married by age X, I’m just not going to get married.” Have you ever said this yourself? I understand, it’s challenging to wait for the right person to come into your life, especially when you've past the ideal age you wanted to marry. You've read the statistics about the ideal time to … [Read more...]
If Bae Don’t Pray, Why Can’t He Stay? Reasons Why You SHOULD Consider Dating a Man Who Doesn’t Go to Church
There's a really popular saying directed at Christian singles: "If bae don't pray, bae can't stay!" You'll hear preachers shout it at Christian conferences and see it worn by women on cute v-neck t-shirts. The message behind this mantra can be summed up like this: A man may be interested in you. He may be professional, handsome and respectful. But if he doesn't show you he … [Read more...]
When an Ex Moves On, Do You Mope? NO. Here Are 3 Reasons to Rejoice
We might not ever admit it, but we all secretly hope to find a new romance before our exes do. But what happens when your ex has moved on—or even worse, got married— before you? It's a strange feeling, right? We see this often from the celebrity tabloids to the social media status updates. It's all juicy entertainment until it happens to you. And I’m not talking about your … [Read more...]
Dear God: About This “Delay” Thing…
The thought of being delayed for a blessing seems to be frustrating, unnerving and a host of other feelings. We hear that “delayed but not denied” is a good thing, but that delay though? How long will it be, Lord? Why is there a delay in the first place? I encourage you to think about the delay to what God has for you as a blessing and to be thankful. If you know that God … [Read more...]
He Tried It. Another Friend Told Me I’ll Stay Single. But Here’s What I Said
God challenged me recently. One evening a male friend and I talked about being single, and he said to me that he was concerned that I would still be single at 35. (I'm 29 now, so was he able to see that far in the future, huh?) The first thing I thought was: what is wrong with being single at 35 and why was I initially so defensive about it? Secondly, what would cause someone … [Read more...]
Why Is It So Difficult for Single Christian Men to Abstain from Sex?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am a single Christian man, and I am trying really hard to maintain my walk with God. However, it is becoming more and more difficult, especially in the church environment. I am an active member in our single’s ministry, and I have had conversations with a lot of women who say they are good in their singleness. However, this is far from the truth because … [Read more...]
What Does It Mean to Be “Good” in Singleness for a Christian Woman?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My boyfriend and I constantly argue and fight about what it means to be good in singleness. He believes that being good in singleness is about how he conducts himself in church and in the community. I disagree. We have sex on a regular basis, and he does not view this as being problematic. In his mind, he believes he is good in his singleness. Because … [Read more...]
Singles: 5 Ways to Tell If You Have a “Grown” or Mature Mindset in Relationships
I'll admit that sometimes being “grown” or of age to do certain things in life, doesn't mean you're mature enough to handle them. Case in point: romantic relationships are not for people who just say they're grown but for those who carry a mindset that reflects growth and maturity. Which side are you on when it comes to relationships? These five ways will give you a … [Read more...]
Singles: 3 Actions that Will Guarantee More Positive and Loving Relationships in 2016
If you’re like me, you’ve seen more than your fair share of social media posts and statements about what people plan to do more or less in 2016. One of the posts that stood out to me from among the norm was: “Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.” Disrespecting each other on the daily in media and real life, taking large strides away from the relationship we … [Read more...]
Single Ladies: Stop Looking for Boaz! Ask God to Send You This Kind of Man
If you're a single Christian woman who has spent any time in the church, you've probably been taught to pray for your Boaz. In sermon after sermon, you're told that Boaz was a handsome, wealthy man who pursued Ruth and married her because she was willing to wait for him. You may have even been taught to kick Boaz's cousins "Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, … [Read more...]
Singles: If You Want Your Relationship to Grow, You Must Do this One Thing
"There should be a consistency that runs through us all. For Jesus doesn’t change—yesterday, today, tomorrow; He’s always totally Himself." Hebrews 13:8 MSG One of the most irritating things to go through in dating is what some call "the switch up." It is when you thought all was going well with someone and then out of nowhere you don't hear from them anymore, in any … [Read more...]