We all say we are in search of real love. Many of us are praying for that real love, standing in faith that God will deliver a real love into our lives. However, if that kind of love came to you tomorrow, would you be ready to receive and maintain it?
I thought about it. If I had to answer my own question, I’d honestly say no. As much as I’d like to have my real, true love in my life as soon as tomorrow, I’m fully aware I’m not all the way prepared for my future mate—just yet.
But what does being prepared for love look like? I think as singles we need to be honest with where we are in order to get closer to the promise God has for us regarding marriage and family. If you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re not necessarily “ready” yet to meet your God-ordained spouse, then remember these simple truths in your process of actively waiting:
It’s not about being perfect
Let’s clear this up right away: just because you’re not prepared doesn’t mean that perfection should be your goal. Perfect seems ideal; but that incredibly high standard is practically unachievable, so don’t be hard on yourself for not being where you want to be right now. Perfection in God’s eyes is a process in itself of becoming more like Christ. Your imperfect self will have a godly spouse to keep you accountable to that when the marriage season comes.
You are not a failure or delayed because you’re not prepared yet. If your credit score is under reconstruction, your communication skills need help, or your attitude is still a work in progress, it’s okay to admit that you’re not perfect. But do take this time in your single season to work on those areas.
God will meet you there and help you move this process along without that self-imposed burden that you’re not “perfect” yet to have a spouse. You won’t be perfect when they arrive, and they won’t be either. The point is that you two should aspire to serve your perfect God together, and place Him first in your relationship.
Don’t put a limit on God
With perfection in mind, we as single believers—myself included—can put God in a box sometimes when it comes to our love story. For example, we say things like: “It’s gonna be like this, he/she has to look like that, we’re going to meet at church,” etc.
If we are truly looking to be prepared for our destined spouse, we can’t get caught up in those ideals and fantasies when they arrive in our lives—or else, we might miss out. It takes trust and faith to let go and let God write out your love story.
God is orderly, but He doesn’t go by those limitations. He could send you your spouse when He says it’s time, even if you feel you aren’t prepared for it. In some cases, preparedness comes while you’re in the dating/courting season—and you don’t stop learning and growing after you get married either. The first step to being prepared to receive real love is to be open to it. Let everything else happen as it will, not as you think it should.
God honors preparedness
Like most things we wait for in life, if we know for certain that it’s coming, we get ready for it. You and I may not know exactly when our spouses will arrive, but we can operate in faith today. This is showing God that you’re believing in His promise to you by putting forth the effort to make things happen.
Our faith is what pleases God, so when you operate in faith and not fear, complacency or cynicism you will be able to accomplish so much more in your single and not-so-single seasons.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). By divine definition, if you have faith that you will receive real love one day, you are then encouraged to prepare yourself for the love (by healing from past hurts, loving yourself, etc).
Faith without works is dead, so our works are part of the preparation process, which includes more internal evaluation and effort than the outside things. When God sees that you’re faithful over the little you’ve been give to take on, He can trust you with more, so don’t miss out—get ready in faith!
As I approach age 30, I think that many of my experiences have helped me prepare for real love. I may not be as prepared by this point in my life as I’d like to, but I can’t deny the personal growth and maturity over the past few years. Don’t ignore your progress in this faith walk in love; it’s all a part of God’s bigger plan to help you receive and maintain the love relationship that you deserve.
Hey BMWK fam, what does it mean to be prepare for real love to you?