“I know You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:1
“If I don’t get married by age X, I’m just not going to get married.”
Have you ever said this yourself? I understand, it’s challenging to wait for the right person to come into your life, especially when you’ve past the ideal age you wanted to marry. You’ve read the statistics about the ideal time to get married. And your past failed relationships may have convinced you that marriage was not an option. But I’m here to encourage you not to curse your blessing and let your heart’s desire die.
It’s what you say out of heart that can corrupt the very thing you want, “For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). A lot of singles feel discontentment in their lives because of a few too many heartbreaks or fewer options as they get older. “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:13).
The question remains: what have you allowed into your heart to get to this point? Certainly, you didn’t always have a negative outlook on the prospect of marrying, especially if this is a desire you know is godly or in a pure place.
That’s one reason why I didn’t want to put statistics in here because science and numbers will try to explain something that seems logical to the world to give us a sense of why certain things happen.
However, as people of faith, we walk by faith, not by sight—nor statistics. Stats change almost every year, but God never changes, and if He gave you a promise. It’s His word you should be relying on.
When you let the issues of this world, our failures, pressure from society and the enemy download their negative messages into your heart, you won’t have much room for the truth, for God’s will for your life.
When I hear or see singles make the statement that they are giving up because they haven’t married at a certain age, it makes me wonder if God gave them that to say. Are you allowing His love and truth about you, your value and worth into your heart? Only in God can we be happy within, and as the previous proverb suggests, it resonates in your appearance and in what you say.
So what will you fill your heart with? First, I encourage you to ask God to clean your heart from the inside out—clean it of any and everything that gives you doubt about God’s will for your life regarding marriage.
Are your timeline, experiences and doubt sitting up in there? Include this psalm in your prayers: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10 AMP). Don’t let the enemy or your pain confuse you and keep you from receiving real love in God’s timing.
After cleaning your heart of the junk, replace those voids with God’s Word. Get a refreshed, renewed mind in seeking God in His word and allow it to fill your heart. “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart…” Jesus also says in Luke chapter 6, verse 45: Good in your heart leads to good thoughts, actions and words that come out of your mouth regarding your life.
We started this discussion with Job, referencing one of the biggest tests of his life. Job had everything and then lost it all, from his finances to all of his children. His own wife asked him why he was still holding onto his integrity and said he should curse God and die. Despite all he had been through and the potential loss of hope for God’s will and provision, Job maintained his integrity. “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first…” as noted in Job 42 that the Lord gave Job double of what he had before and even extended his years because he was found upright despite the pain and trials he went through.
You see this? Your age ain’t nothing but a number to God, it’s the content of your heart that matters. If it’s His will for you to marry or to have children, don’t curse your blessing or let that Word die because it didn’t happen yet. Allow God to work on you, walk upright in heart, mind and speech, and watch Him move on your behalf.
Hey BMWK fam, have you ever given up on the idea of getting married? Have you changed your mind to faithful thoughts?