We might not ever admit it, but we all secretly hope to find a new romance before our exes do. But what happens when your ex has moved on—or even worse, got married— before you? It’s a strange feeling, right? We see this often from the celebrity tabloids to the social media status updates. It’s all juicy entertainment until it happens to you.
And I’m not talking about your bad ex-boyfriends whom you want nothing to do with anymore; I’m talking more about the ones who showed potential but the relationship ended or didn’t even get to start.
We can respond to the news in a variety of emotions from sheer depression to sincere joy. I, too, have experienced these ranging emotions, but in the end, I have experienced genuine happiness for them, and here are three reasons why:
1) It’s good to see life move on beautifully
Moving on should be our intention from the beginning of the end of a relationship, right? But sometimes it’s hard to let go. Perhaps a piece of your heart, mind and/or body was shared with that person, and there are some emotional and spiritual ties that need to be severed. But after God breaks those ties and time passes, there’s a beauty to the renewing of the seasons.
Have you ever interceded on their behalf to experience God’s best for them…even if it wasn’t you?
Over time people can grow, mature and walk into something new and beautiful such as a romantic relationship or marriage. Of course you want that for yourself, but have you ever prayed that for an ex? Have you ever interceded on their behalf to experience God’s best for them…even if it wasn’t you? God hears our prayers, and He is able to redeem and restore each and every one of us.
2) It confirms why it didn’t work out with them in the first place
This is the point that keeps a lot of singles bound in rejection, self condemnation and insecurity—all three I’ve fought after breakups. It’s so easy to get jealous or to be mad when you see an ex move on.
Pay close attention in this situation because the enemy is cunning with lies. The enemy wants you to believe you’ve missed out on so-and-so or you weren’t good enough to get what your ex’s new person is getting. Send those lies back to hell and speak the truth over your life: God is a keeper and He knows what’s best for you. This is the best time to personally thank God for allowing things to happen the way they did.
Sometimes we get upset about things not working out with someone who was really only supposed to be a test, a friend, someone in need, a lesson—not a spouse for you.
If you didn’t have an understanding of why you were in each others’ lives, ask the Lord to reveal it to you. Sometimes we get upset about things not working out with someone who was really only supposed to be a test, a friend, someone in need, a lesson—not a spouse for you. Trust that He knows what you’ve been through and allow Him to lead you on your own path to receiving real love from someone He destined for you to love and be loved by, not the choice of your emotions and desperation. This can relate to the saying “I see why it didn’t work with anyone else.”
3. This is a season to celebrate others
The single season is a time for you to celebrate others who have what you may want in your own life. Can you be happy for someone when it’s not your turn yet? If you still have hurt and resentment in your heart toward an ex, it will definitely be a challenge to celebrate them. Many of us may feel left out when an ex moves on, and we don’t have someone of our own to move on with.
This is your time to cast down negative thoughts, competitive jealously or feelings of inadequacy. Celebrate by praying for them because it’s hard enough to find real love and even harder to keep it. Celebrate that God is love, and He is glorified when a couple does things His way. Make a commitment to the Lord and yourself that this will be your outcome as well in the appointed time.
I’m not saying this is something you may feel automatically, but it is possible to be happy for an ex who has moved on while you’re single. Trust and believe that those abilities, plus a clear conscience and heart free of clutter, will be an asset to whom you’re really supposed to be with.
Hey BMWK family, be honest, have you ever felt happy for an ex moving on even if you were single?