During some point in many marriages things get common. It becomes the same routine day in and day out. Some occasionally get comfortable with the ordinary and neglect to keep the excitement and fire burning. The dating stops, spontaneity halts and both partners end up just being in their marriage instead of living in the marriage. During that time is when many couples are challenged.
It’s very easy to become distracted at these moments. Someone could easily catch our attention by telling us how highly they think of us. Especially if we haven’t heard it from our spouses in a while. One can fall into the trap that leads to temptation and ultimately infidelity.
As adults we are quite aware of our actions and the results that could possibly follow. We also know when we aren’t fighting temptation but giving in to it. By laughing at awkward unwanted advances (from co-workers or friends) instead of putting our foot down and demanding we and our relationship are respected. Also, when we are on a mission to prove we still got it and desire for someone other than our spouses to notice. If our spouse is still attracted to us, isn’t that really all that matters? Enjoying the attention is also a huge problem. Consistently putting ourselves in compromising situations and initiating any questionable behavior makes someone an easy target for infidelity. Staying present and aware of all the little signs that can damage your marriage is the first step.
If you have ever found yourself fighting temptation know that you are not alone. Below are a few recommended tips:
“¢ Walk away. Removing yourself from enticing situations immediately is one of the most realistic plans. You don’t have to stay in a tempting situation. I even recommend taking a time out. Stop, think, pray or call that trusted friend who can help talk you off the ledge but won’t judge you.
“¢ Talk about it. Be honest with yourself about why the attention of another caught your interest. Is there something your spouse could improve? If so, share with your spouse what you want and give them the first chance to fulfill your needs.
“¢ Consider what you stand to lose. Breaking the heart of the one you love, disappointing and setting a negative example for your children and simply destroying your family are all possible outcomes.
“¢ Take it back to the beginning. Reminisce about the beginning of your relationship. What drew you to your spouse? What was it like before life got all up in the way? Sometimes you may even have to rebuild. Of course children and careers change things, so it may not be feasible to go back to what we had, but what about reinventing the marriage.
“¢ Take action. Turn that attention toward your spouse. All the flirting and putting forth the extra effort into looking our best can all be done with our spouse in mind.
“¢ Be the spouse you want your spouse to be. Think about all the love and attention you desire and make sure you are supplying it to your mate.
“¢ Trust that you are exactly where you are and in the exact relationship you are in for a purpose. Remember exes are exes for a reason. That time has come and gone. There is a reason you both chose another and ended the relationship.
“¢ Don’t suffer in silence. Seek a pastor or a relationship professional if you struggle and can’t seem to keep your focus on your marriage.
“¢ Don’t make excuses like “I’m only human.” You’re only a human who has complete control of their actions.
Remember, you don’t have to fall victim to temptation. Stay focused on what God has joined together. In order to stay committed to your spouse, first be willing, always communicate what you’re feeling and take every precaution possible to maintain a healthy marriage.
How do you fight temptation?