Every marriage is different, but the requirements for being a good spouse are universal. It’s easy to say we’re doing our best in marriage but the evidence is how our spouse feels. It seems there is always room for improvement. We may never be the perfect spouse, and that really isn’t even the goal. Knowing we put forth our greatest effort in the majority of situations, especially the challenging ones, is the real goal. Unfortunately, there will be times we won’t get it right, but the more we try, the better we feel and the stronger the marriage becomes.
A great marriage isn’t something couples stumble upon. It happens by choice. Setting goals in a relationship helps us to stay focused and be more aware of our actions and words. Without a specific idea of how we plan to be a good spouse, the more we’ll struggle. It’s time we get really clear on what a good spouse and a bad spouse looks like and the difference it makes in our individual relationships.
The Good Spouse:
Communicates. Sharing our thoughts, our goals and even our disappointments are important for marriage success. Our spouses need to know where we are emotionally. How can they give us what we need if we haven’t provided them with the knowledge to do so.
Sacrifices. Making our spouse the priority is hard to do consistently, but it is the top ingredient for a successful marriage.
Practices integrity. When what we say matches what we do, you’ll find integrity at its best. In addition to saying “I love you”, “I’ll never hurt you” or “I have your back” showing these very statements with how we treat our spouse is even more powerful.
Loves. Love is an action word. It encompasses all of the above and then some. 1 Corinthians 13:13 says “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Love makes us want to do better.
I recognize being a good spouse isn’t always easy. Our selfish desires get in the way. We want what we want without regard to our partners. This won’t work, despite how natural it feels. Even though it isn’t easy, it is surely possible. The relationship goal I will challenge you with is being the good spouse as often as possible.
If you’re wondering where the list is for the bad spouse, there isn’t one. Simply put, the spouse needing the most improvement is the one who isn’t willing to do any of the above. Change is always easier said than done. The ask is that we simply be willing. One who isn’t, sends the message their spouse isn’t worthy of their best.
Again, this list may change depending on the partners involved. Having an understanding regarding the expectations in our marriage helps to reveal what a good spouse looks like to our mates.
BMWK, what do you think makes a good spouse?