It’s important to be forward thinking in how we are planning what we want in life. There is significance in making it a point to be strategic in what we do with our lives. If a contractor is building a building, he doesn’t just “go with the flow,” he has floor plans, city and county codes, permits and other sets of standards to follow. Whether an engineer is building a very practical hybrid or an exotic car, he still has a set of guidelines to follow before he gets started. I have a recording industry background and even the songwriters I worked with have structure standards which they follow. It doesn’t matter if its artwork or something practical, if we are building it, there should be planning and design.
Design means to plan or fashion artistically or skillfully. We have a vision for what we want and we plan around the intent toward that vision. Relationships should be no different. Designing a plan to have a successful relationship, whether man or woman, just makes good sense. Knowing your design of what you want in a relationship puts you in a mindset of being focused on what is important to you and not being distracted by what might not work for you. Designing doesn’t mean your life or relationships will follow a linear path, but it does mean you have a blueprint to know what you want and what it takes to get there.
The challenge for us as singles with a relationship destination in mind is to make sure we are the best we can be when that person comes along.
We can control our future, if we choose to use the knowledge we have. Designing your relationship means designing yourself as well. Being the best at who you are makes you available to the person who is preparing themselves for you. Right now, you don’t know it—you can’t see it—but God is designing someone who is right for you. That person will cross your path at the right time, with the right heart and right intentions for you. The challenge for us as singles with a relationship destination in mind is to make sure we are the best we can be when that person comes along.
You can have a great job making a lot of money doing your thing in whatever city you live in. My perspective is that being the best you can be is so much more than that!
Preparation
How do you prepare for destiny? There are lots of things you can do to prepare for that special someone, even when you don’t know who they are or anything about them yet.
For a moment, imagine what you want in your relationship. Create your vision of what a typical day might be together. Do you want to cook for them? Do you want to plant flowers in your yard? Do you want to ride bikes together? Would you like to go out and dance together? If these things sound like they might be something of interest to you, try taking a cooking class. Learn about planting flowers and all things botanical. Look into a cycling club. Take a salsa class. Expand your outlook to be willing to try new things.
Availability
You aren’t going to meet anyone sitting at home. Many people don’t like the club scene or places we might consider “hookup” spots. That’s fine, but you also want to get out of the house to get to know new people. You are only going to marry one person, but the plethora of friends and acquaintances you will make along the way are invaluable as well.
The great thing about getting outside of your comfort zone and doing new things (like a cooking class) is also a great way of meeting new people. You never know, you might meet your destiny at a class, social event or some type of setting you would have never expected to meet anyone. Get out, let your hair down, meet some cool people and you may meet the person you have been dreaming about.
Purpose
While you are preparing yourself and becoming available, remember ultimately this is done with a purpose. That doesn’t mean you are scheming to get some wealthy person with a high six-figure income and a Ferrari. What purpose means is that you are well aware of what you want out of your situation and you won’t accept anything less. For example, if you are talking to someone who makes it crystal clear at the beginning of the relationship they don’t want to get married, the most important thing you can do is believe them! If you want to get married, appreciate the time spent, keep them as a friend if you choose, but keep it moving. They are not part of your plan and ultimately your purpose. You want to talk to people who share your desires and ultimate goals. As you get to know each other, find out if your purposes in life are complimentary or contradictory. Compatibility of purpose will be one of the ties that bind as your relationship grows and deepens.
Architect
A constant theme of mine is designing your life. Design is the foundation for destiny. Destiny doesn’t just happen; it’s the arrival to a place through a set of steps. You can either choose your own steps or let things happen to you and choose them for you. You are writing the novel of your life. You are the architect. Work within your purpose, toward the destination. Live out your purpose and don’t settle for less. Accomplish what you want to accomplish and who you want to accomplish it with! If you design your relationship, ultimately you will enjoy living out your purpose…together.