I love my husband. I ‘m not the sappy type, so I’m not compelled to run off a list of reasons why. But trust me, I love that man with all I’ve got. Is that love enough, though? Is loving each other, through it all, enough to sustain our relationship? Is it enough to keep us together… always?
People often say that love conquers all, but what does that really mean? Does it mean that if you love someone, you forgive all their wrongs and stand by their side? Does it mean if you love someone enough, nothing in life can tear you apart – not even the really bad stuff? If love conquers all, it should mean that two people who love each other can overcome any obstacle, right? After all, there is no force stronger than love.
Yet, as powerful as I think love is, I just don’t believe that love conquers all. Sure, love is some pretty good stuff, but to say it conquers all – well, that’s just a bit much. I don’t think love is enough to carry a couple through all the hard times and all the complicated issues in life. Love can serve as a foundation (a very strong foundation), but if that is all you’ve got, good luck.
So, what else matters if you have love? A lot. In addition to loving someone, no matter how much you do, I think there just has to be more.
- You need the ability to communicate well.
- You need to respect each other.
- You need to be able to laugh at yourself.
- You need to roll with the punches (and there will be punches).
- You need to accept the fact that the person you love is not going to change just because you want them to.
- And, most importantly, you have to understand that life can get complicated and you want to be with someone who will stand by your side to help you figure it out.
Don’t get me wrong; I know that loving someone is some pretty powerful stuff. However, my experience with my husband has shown me that just loving each other is not enough to carry us through everything that life will throw our way. Love is an excellent foundation. It certainly is needed if your relationship stands a chance. But, it is just a main ingredient, on a list of ingredients, which will make this recipe for your relationship work.
Unfortunately, I think so many people end up in failing marriages because they honestly got into it thinking that love was enough. It’s understandable since love can give us this sense of being able to conquer anything. Yet, the truth is, love just reminds us of why we are in a relationship. Love gives us the strength and courage we need to fight for our relationships. It doesn’t, however, give us everything we need to make it work.
So, when all is said and done, love just isn’t enough. If couples took more time to understand each other a little bit better, and nourish the qualities and skills that can make their partnerships stronger, they would go a lot further as a team. Even something as awesome as love can use a little back up.
BMWK – do you think love is enough? In addition to love, what are the key ingredients to a successful marriage?