Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer from Ohio, where she lives with her husband and two kids. Visit her blog, TheYoungMommyLife.com, for daily musings about the issues young moms face.
There’s a line in Destiny’s Child’s “Cater 2 U” that always stuck in my head in which Kelly coos: “I’ll keep it tight/I’ll keep my figure right/I’ll keep my hair fixed/Keep rocking the tightest outfits”....” Some women were all up in arms about this, saying their man should love them no matter what. Which is true.
But.
Honestly, men are visual people. They like what looks good. (As do women.) While your man should most definitely still love you if you gain a couple pounds, is there a reason why you wouldn’t stop looking your best?
I realized the other day that I hadn’t painted my toenails since my son was born. He turned six months old last week. I hadn’t purchased any sexy stilettos in more than a year. (To be fair, it is a little difficult running after two kids in four-inch heels. I tried it once and almost broke my ankle. Been in flats ever since.)
I can’t remember the last time I went into Victoria’s Secret and bought something other than body lotion. There ain’t nothing in my lingerie drawer that my husband hasn’t seen a million times. More often than not, on the weekends you’ll find me in jeans and a V-neck sweater.
Having kids definitely played a major part in it. My “sexy” clothes don’t fit the same way they used to and my shopping budget had been slashed to make room for more important purchases like, um, the house we just bought.
I pledged that 2009 would be the year I get my sexy back. I think for someone who had two kids in almost two years, I’m doing alright. But I’d like to be better. Not just for my husband’s sake, but MY sake. I liked going shopping for cute clothes. I liked wearing heels out on a date. I liked wearing a super-tiny metallic purse that didn’t fit anything other than my wallet and cell phone.
I may not be able to wear my pumps on a daily basis anymore, but it doesn’t mean I still can’t look fly. I want to look GOOD not just look “good for someone who’s had two kids.”
I do believe in keeping yourself together after you hook up with someone. Just because y’all got serious, doesn’t mean you can get all casual.
BMWK, how much is acceptable after hooking up with someone? Does it matter if you had a couple of kids? Let me know what you think!