If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard people say college isn’t a suitable environment to maintain a relationship, I would probably be able to pay off my student loans. I used to think the same thing prior to meeting my boyfriend. Eventually, I found out it is indeed possible to maintain a steady monogamous relationship on a college campus.
I have learned a lot from being in my relationship for over two years and I want to share some tips for other readers that are trying to build something stable amongst the chaos that is college:
Be clear
One problem I’ve noticed among dating college students is a lack of clarity. It is imperative that potential couples define the terms of their relationship. I have seen so many potential partnerships destroyed because the people involved are not on the same page. For example, Girl A might think Boy B is her boyfriend and posts subliminal statuses about how much she loves “him.” Meanwhile, Boy B is thinking they’re just “talking” and is also talking to Girl B, C and D. As a result, Girl A and Boy B are at odds because of a misunderstanding.
Ladies and gentlemen, whether you’re looking for something serious or weighing your options, let the other person know your intentions. My boyfriend and I had that discussion a couple of months after we started dating. I insisted on having that discussion because I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.
One size doesn’t fit all
Do not compare your relationship to anyone else’s relationship. My boyfriend and I have gotten compliments on how we’re such a “cute couple” and how we never fight. We’re in a great place right now but like many other couples, we went through a rough patch and during that time, we were still getting those compliments. Appearances are deceiving. Just focus on maintaining the health of your relationship. What may work perfectly for the couple snuggling in the library could be a disaster for you and your mate.
Be careful
There is a lot of temptation in college. Parties and drinks are abundant and so are single classmates. There are people that have no regard for college relationships and don’t mind contributing to a break-up. Some people actually revel in causing drama. You have to know who is or isn’t a friend to your relationship. Guys, some dudes may see your girlfriend as a ball and chain and do whatever they can to help you get your so-called freedom back. Ladies, that single girlfriend saying “dump him!” after you vent about a minor spat might have other motives. Make sure your inner circle is supportive.
Did you find it easy or difficult to have a serious relationship while in college? For the married folks, did you meet your spouse in college?