My initial reaction to a document from my teen daughter’s school requesting her participation in a health class project was confusion. The school was asking permission for my child to bring home a programmed baby doll to take care of during an entire weekend. This form highlighted how our family would be responsible for any damages that might occur to the baby under our care; apparently the doll is very expensive. However, it never stated the purpose, the grading system or any other specifics. My husband and I went back and forth regarding the issue. We both wanted a clear understanding of how this project would benefit our child.
With teen pregnancy being such a huge unfortunate epidemic, along with my daughter’s strange excitement at the idea of participating, I was just a little nervous. After receiving more specifics, the goal of the project was clear, but would it work? The idea was to discourage our youth from wanting to have children at this time by showing them how difficult teen parenting really is. I couldn’t imagine how a pretend baby would really demonstrate this particular level of parenting.
I learned very quickly I was wrong. This weekend was truly eye opening. From the moment we picked our daughter and “her baby” up from school, it was quite clear we were in for a long weekend. About 20 minutes into our ride home, the baby was activated and motherhood kicked in for my daughter. The baby began to cry (and not your usual baby doll cry, but the loud irritating wail all of us parents know too well). My daughter and I both became immediately flustered as she struggled figuring out how to stop the crying. After reading the manual she eventually calmed the baby, but I could tell she wasn’t too thrilled about what she had signed up for.
All the tasks we are familiar with as parents, diaper changes, burping and middle of the night feedings, have all been a part of my daughter’s experience. A few times during this project my daughter even cried because she was drained and the baby wouldn’t stop crying. From that moment, I realized this project has the possibility of changing a young person’s mind. Its one thing for parents to drive home the point of teens abstaining from sex and saving themselves for marriage, but it’s another for them to have the opportunity to experience how much their lives change by becoming teen parents.
This weekend has been such an amazing teaching moment for our family. The baby has traveled with us to dental appointments as well as church. The baby has ignited healthy dialogue for my daughter with other trusted adults who have also felt the need to offer advice on how to avoid teen pregnancy. Although, we never miss an opportunity to have real life conversations with our children in regards to self-esteem, relationships and sex, this experience has truly added extra support to those talks.
In fact, as I am writing this piece it’s 11:30 pm and the baby just woke up crying to be fed. My daughter looks and sounds exhausted, while I am smiling on the inside. I realize this is just one weekend, but this experience combined with our continued teaching and guidance, complement one another quite nicely.
BMWK, what are your thoughts, would you allow your teen to participate in this project? Do you think it is a realistic strategy?