My initial reaction to a document from my teen daughter’s school requesting her participation in a health class project was confusion. The school was asking permission for my child to bring home a programmed baby doll to take care of during an entire weekend. This form highlighted how our family would be responsible for any damages that might occur to the baby under our care; apparently the doll is very expensive. However, it never stated the purpose, the grading system or any other specifics. My husband and I went back and forth regarding the issue. We both wanted a clear understanding of how this project would benefit our child.
With teen pregnancy being such a huge unfortunate epidemic, along with my daughter’s strange excitement at the idea of participating, I was just a little nervous. After receiving more specifics, the goal of the project was clear, but would it work? The idea was to discourage our youth from wanting to have children at this time by showing them how difficult teen parenting really is. I couldn’t imagine how a pretend baby would really demonstrate this particular level of parenting.
I learned very quickly I was wrong. This weekend was truly eye opening. From the moment we picked our daughter and “her baby” up from school, it was quite clear we were in for a long weekend. About 20 minutes into our ride home, the baby was activated and motherhood kicked in for my daughter. The baby began to cry (and not your usual baby doll cry, but the loud irritating wail all of us parents know too well). My daughter and I both became immediately flustered as she struggled figuring out how to stop the crying. After reading the manual she eventually calmed the baby, but I could tell she wasn’t too thrilled about what she had signed up for.
All the tasks we are familiar with as parents, diaper changes, burping and middle of the night feedings, have all been a part of my daughter’s experience. A few times during this project my daughter even cried because she was drained and the baby wouldn’t stop crying. From that moment, I realized this project has the possibility of changing a young person’s mind. Its one thing for parents to drive home the point of teens abstaining from sex and saving themselves for marriage, but it’s another for them to have the opportunity to experience how much their lives change by becoming teen parents.
This weekend has been such an amazing teaching moment for our family. The baby has traveled with us to dental appointments as well as church. The baby has ignited healthy dialogue for my daughter with other trusted adults who have also felt the need to offer advice on how to avoid teen pregnancy. Although, we never miss an opportunity to have real life conversations with our children in regards to self-esteem, relationships and sex, this experience has truly added extra support to those talks.
In fact, as I am writing this piece it’s 11:30 pm and the baby just woke up crying to be fed. My daughter looks and sounds exhausted, while I am smiling on the inside. I realize this is just one weekend, but this experience combined with our continued teaching and guidance, complement one another quite nicely.
BMWK, what are your thoughts, would you allow your teen to participate in this project? Do you think it is a realistic strategy?
Majo says
i had to do that in high school. it was horrible. and i didn’t appreciate it unfortunately. i already knew i didn’t want to have a baby in high school, so why force me to take one home? i also remember being nervous as heck that something would go wrong with the baby and my parents would be forced to pay for it.
Tiya says
My daughter feels the same way. She did not enjoy the experience.
jamie says
I did participate in this program in high school, for home ec. class. I actually enjoyed it. It was heavy, cried all the time and my grandmother did not help me with it at all. Before then I never wanted to have kids, let alone as a teen. My mother had me and my 3 siblings by the time she was 20, I saw how her life was and knew I did not want that for myself. The baby was not the burden I was expecting. Now I’m 23 and engaged, and I cannot wait to start a family.
Tiya says
Jamie, that’s great. I enjoyed the project and my daughter gained a lot from this experience
Klt says
I worked for Planned Parenthood where I live and that was one of the programs we had at our Administrative office. The parent brought in their teenager(s), sign out for the doll or dolls, was shown where the batteries went, the doll cried just like a real baby didn’t matter what time of day or night it was. It helped a lot of teens make up their minds about having unprotected sex as well as wanting to have a baby.
Tiya says
Yes indeed, this was our experience. Sometimes 2or 3times throughout the night. I am pleased that the school offers this program.
Yolanda Davis Greggs says
I think this is a wonderful program. Unfortunately, they didn’t offer this at the school my kids attended until AFTER my daughter became a teen mom at 14. They were teaching contrary to what I was teaching. They had these kids under the false impression that wearing a condom is 100% birth control and disease control. My daughter and her daughter’s father used a condom that ripped in half, thus producing my now 10 1/2 year old granddaughter. I just wish there was also a way to let these kids experience STDs as well so they make better choices. STDs are almost epidemic among our young people. Churches should also take part in these type of teaching tools. It’s the parents’ responsibility to teach their children, but it is also the community’s responsibility as well. I am glad your daughter learned from the experience and that she also had a great support system in place.
Mocha69 says
I love the idea of such a program. I would definitely sign my daughter AND son up for this. I also sit with my children and together we have watch the MTV show “teen mom”. although there are some negative things about this show that I dont like, I think the message is clear….being a teen mom ain’t all its cracked up to be. Every episode and I do mean every episode at some point shows a teen mom crying over the trials and tribulations of motherhood and also trying to maintain a relationship with someone thats just not ready. Parents have got to continue talking about the real issues… Good luck with your daughter..
chictee says
I’m having a flashback of that darn “Baby think it over”! My sister and I both had one on the same weekend. I always credit that for me getting through high school, undergrad, & grad school with no children! Now we’ve surpassed our first year of marriage and I’m still “thinking it over” lol. A great lesson to be had.
Dannielle @ Odd Cents says
I wish that were programmes like that here in Barbados. Our youth need help. Both boys and girls could really benefit from something like this…
Shereene Hill-Veal says
I am a program director for an after school non profit in Charlotte, NC. Trust and believe, I took the doll home to study it… not only will it discourage teens from having a baby, it may also discourage some adults!
Tiya says
Yes indeed! Lol
Gilliam1036 says
I must admit, it really taught me the value of waiting and we had to use an “egg” as a baby! Let me tell you! It was not easy and it really drained me of a social life! I’m so glad I paid attention! While it was a great project, and I got an A in the class, I’m so thankful for the knowledge I learned throughout the process. And it really did a number on me because I am currently childless and do not regret it at all! Sure, I waivered between having a child or not as I got older, but it came in waves, and honestly, for me, remaining childless was the best decision I could have ever made! Now, I spend my time mentoring and helping others, and the love I would have bestowed on my own child, is now bestowed on my beautiful stepdaughter which I treat as if she’s my own and I love being in her life, but allowing her own parents to “parent”!
laci paris duke says
i would let my teen participate. having a baby is not easy and the sooner they learn that the better lol. however i wonder if that would deter kids from havig unproteccted sex?? when you are in the act of it no one, adults included, is thinking about a crying baby at 3am
SDH says
I think all teenagers, male and female should be given this project over spring break. A weekend might not be long enough. If my nephew and his girlfriend had had to do this maybe they wouldn’t be the parents of a newborn. Neither one of them has a job, she’s on public assistance and they live between my sister’s house and her mother’s house. Both were in college (first year) and now they are just like everybody else that thought they were grown and knew what was best. It’s a sad train wreck of a situation.
RogMJ007 says
I think such a project is a great experience. However, I’ve seen, all to often unfortunately, the grandparents taking greater control of the grandchild instead of forcing the young parent to deal with the consequences. In both instances, the young mother had another child. If parents don’t enforce accountability, the error(s) in judgment will continue.
Bossyshasta says
I had one of those dolls while in school as well as some of my friends. It was very irritating but it was over after the weekend motherhood is a lifetime. Enjoy being young while you can cause once its over, ITS OVER ;-(
sunsetssplendor says
This is a great idea. Last week my teen daughter in I were in the Pediatrician office and a newborn
let out a wail, similar to the one you described, and my daughter just gave me a look. I think this doll would be great for her as well!
Briana Myricks says
I never had the experience but I think it would have prevented quite a few of my classmates to have children at a young age. I know the girls are the ones who have a baby, but I hope it deters young boys from having unprotected sex too. I agree with one of the commenters above; it should be longer than a weekend to really get the effect.
Ronni says
I hope to God that when my son is a teen that something like this is still going on. I think teens and adults could benefit from something like this!
MacMan says
Wow, what a powerful narrative. What a powerful educational tool. I wish these dolls were more expensive so parents and students would understand how priceless a real child is! As an educator of sociology, I find it so difficult to have students understand the changes having a baby does. I am a grown man, married, have a great job, health insurance, and two amazing kids. But having a child is still really difficult! Now think of a teenager who doesn’t have any of these things and how their life will be having to care for a child while still a child. This was a great article and a great insight into how effective education can change lives and change society in such a positive way! Parents, talk with your school and demand for this type of educational experience. They say Knowledge is Power and this is the case with this type of education!
Cashmir Deaniell Mckiver says
i did this and i would let my daughter do this and also i will let the girls in my group do this alot
Poletta Cunningham says
Hi, I read your article and hopefully you can share where this school is that is encouraging this project, I work with adolescent girls and I was hoping to get more information if possible, this would really suit her
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter says
Yes, it’s the Lindblom Math & Science Academy In Chicago
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