By: M. Simone Boyd
“We’re having a lot of problems with him. And, we can’t seem to get him off of his cellphone and Xbox.” That’s what the lady sitting behind me at breakfast said the other day. I immediately sat up straight and leaned a little closer to listen in. (Okay, so I’m nosy.)
She wanted her son to be present. She wanted to connect. And, she also wanted her husband to help in cutting her son’s addiction to electronic devices.
But, she felt alone.
I have the same problem with my 17-year old brother.
There is a 16-year age gap between us and I no longer live at home. I really want to connect with him before he graduates and goes to college. But whenever we hang out together, he is distracted by incessant text messages and Instagram likes.
Did you know that a teenager will text an average of 3,400 times per month and will spend more time with media than with parents or teachers? It’s true based on a 2012 CNN Story.
Given that my parents have raised eight children, I asked them what they thought about parenting in the digital age. I was raised in the nineties…when all the cool kids had private land lines. But, I wasn’t even allowed to talk on the phone after 9 p.m.
My youngest brother, however, is experiencing a completely different parenting regime. It is the digital age, and my parents are in their sixties. So, I asked them about it. Here’s their strategy:
Set Age Limits
My dad believes there is no need for a cell phone if you aren’t driving. No one gets a cell phone until 16, and children at a younger age are not savvy enough to choose appropriate media.
Periodic Screen Fasts
My parents, periodically, will have a weekend screen fast. During that weekend no one uses screens i.e. TV, cell phones, tablets, etc.
We -the children this edict is forced upon- usually have a hard time unplugging. But, by the end of the weekend we are playing basketball, have dusted off the Monopoly board, and are reconnecting.
Daily Unplugging
My brother also has an electronics curfew. His electronic devices must be left to charge in the kitchen at bedtime, and cell phones are also not allowed at the dinner table.
My parent’s approach seems to be working.
Because, despite my brother having a cell phone, a tablet, and 850 Instagram followers, he maintains a 3.5 GPA, was voted President of his senior class, is respectful and volunteers.
So BMWK, what do you think about my parent’s digital parenting strategy? And how do you connect with your loved ones over the noise of electronic devices?
M. Simone Boyd is the oldest of eight kids and is married to her husband, Morris–an only child. Last year, Simone quit her job as an energy analyst to research what makes relationships thrive or die. She interviewed 10 Christian, Black Men to get their thoughts on relationships and wrote a free guide based on their advice.
Blog:https://myfamilyfantastic.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/msimoneboyd