by Ayanna Black
You would think that I’d lost my hearing as long as it took me to respond to the pastor after he said “will you obey”...” Honestly, I didn’t mean to pause that long but for that split second I had to think about what I was agreeing too. At that moment I was thinking, do I have to do what he says? Is he going to make the right decision for me to obey? Who gone check me boo, not you!? Every defiant thought I could have thought of came to mind. So after pondering all those things and nearly having a heart attack on my wedding day, I came to the conclusion that it was okay. It was okay because I felt the intentions of my husband to be were pure and not to control me. I took my vows to mean that I would allow my husband to make the final decision and trust that he’s prayed about it and is led by God. It didn’t mean to me I’d have to submit to him as if I was a child but to allow him to lead as the head of the house. Because most women today are very strong willed it becomes a serious challenge to fathom the thought of having to obey someone. However, there are other ways to think of it:
Ladies
Allowing your mate to make the final decision on something doesn’t make you weak. You are just allowing him to exercise his Godly ordained duty as the man of the house. Again because this is very hard for some of us including me, to help ease the transition I strongly suggest things. This way I know my opinion was heard and we seem to always come to a happy medium. I know I wear my husband out sometimes! lol
Men
Don’t abuse this vow. Be careful not to use this as a way to control your spouse or to just have your way all the time. Women don’t like to feel as if we are being controlled or treated as children. 9 times out of 10 your spouse is going to support whatever decision you make because they love you and want to be on one accord. So just make sure that you’ve thought it out careful and most of all prayed for direction.
So for me obey was awkward but I got through it and I’m glad I said it.
What do you take obey to mean in wedding vows? Would you have obey taken out of your vows?
Ayanna is a married mom of busy triplets in Chicago. She’s a freelance parenting/marriage and technology blogger. Ayanna is also the proud owner of ABlackWebDesign.com and MommyMultiple.com