Before my husband and I started dating, I took a three-year dating hiatus. I think the Lord was trying to heal my heart from the relationships that didn’t honor Him. I believe He was also working on some MAJOR character deficiencies: pride, selfishness and a whole bunch of things that would have been poison to a marriage.
Once we started dating, I sort of had this cloud over me (even though my man was amazing). You see, I was embarrassed about my past. And I didn’t want to tell Morris because I was afraid he’d dump me if he knew all about the “old Simone.” After a few months, I summed up the courage to be honest, and he accepted me anyway.
There are three women in the Bible I learned critical lessons from, and I think they helped me in making my decision to be transparent. Admittedly, nowhere in the Good Book is dating mentioned. But the lessons are still applicable…
Rahab: Be Confident
We really only know three things about Sister Rahab. She saved the Hebrew spies. She was a prostitute. And she was the great, great, grandmother of King David and an ancestress of Jesus. (Read those last two sentences again.) Now, I don’t know about you…but doesn’t it seem odd that God would see fit to include a prostitute in the lineage of Jesus?
But He did.
And it’s living proof that God can use anyone. It also serves as a reminder that we don’t have to be ashamed about our past. It’s all under the blood and God wants to use our stories to encourage others. In Christ, our past no longer matters. He wiped the slate clean, so be confident in your dating, knowing that you are good enough,
When dating, don’t count yourself out or think yourself unworthy of someone’s love because of past failures. If God has wiped the slate clean, so should any man worthy of your time and attention. (Amen, somebody!)
Ruth: Be Direct
Sister Ruth didn’t beat around the bush when it came to letting Boaz know how she felt. She was on a mission: to secure the future of her and her mother-in-law. Sometimes we, women, have the tendency to be coy or play hard to get.
But Ruth wasn’t playing that game.
“So she lay at his feet until morning, but got up before anyone could be recognized; and [Boaz] said, “No one must know that a woman came to the threshing floor.” Ruth 3:14 NIV
At the direction of her mother-in-law, she waited until Boaz had eaten and was drunk, snuck into where he was sleeping and laid down by his feet. Now, I’m not quite sure of the historical significance of Ruth lying near his feet. But even by today’s standards, her move was—shall we say—bold.
When dating, be direct..but not thirsty. If God’s laid on your heart that he’s the One: do what the Good Lord tells you to do, Gurrrl!
Mary: Be Transparent
Imagine. You are a poor girl from a poor village. And your family finally secured a suitable marriage match. He’s handsome. Is an entrepreneur. And is well-respected in your town. But before you get a chance to march down the aisle in your wedding gown, you wind up pregnant.
But. But you didn’t do anything wrong…
Welp. Mary, the mother of Jesus, didn’t have to imagine this scenario. She lived it. And I think sometimes we skip right over that section of scripture where Joseph found out Mary was pregnant.
“This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 1:15 NIV
Can you picture the terror Mary lived in for three months? The conception was immaculate, but the situation was scandalous. Thankfully, an angel appeared to Joseph and explained everything.
When dating, be transparent. I know, first hand, that it can be scary. But be truthful and leave the results up to God. Remember, like Rahab, He’s wiped our slates clean and whatever He has for you…is for you.
BMWK: What other dating lessons can we learn from women of the Bible?