Have you ever prayed for something to happen and didn’t expect it to be answered so quickly? Many times God gives us exactly what we ask for…to teach us something. I remember praying to God to go on a date, and He answered my prayer pretty much immediately. It was a casual prayer, a quick conversation with the Lord to let Him know how I was feeling and before I knew it, I was preparing to go on a date with someone new and interesting. But what I didn’t realize was that God was testing me on a few things in that season.
You pray for it, but are you ready for it?
A lot of us singles have our moments in this walk when we simply get frustrated with waiting. We’ve heard the messages about not being weary in well doing and being content in all seasons. But how often have you heard to prepare for what you pray for? After that fun yet brief dating season, I realized that it wasn’t the right time for me to date because I was not prepared. I now realize I was not mature enough to sincerely pursue dating and courtship that would lead to marriage. God allowed me to go through that dating season to see how I was emotionally immature, putting men before Him and not focusing on the right things.
Singles who desire to date to marry should be preparing themselves in their now season. Learn about yourself and what you want, love yourself, and become whole in God so you don’t look to anyone else to fill those voids. If you don’t know what is keeping you from being ready to date, you can definitely ask the Lord in prayer and ask people whom you trust to give you honest feedback spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
Readiness is a state of mind
Being ready to date also includes your state of mind. A lot of singles have sworn off dating because they have made up in their mind that the risk of getting hurt or treated poorly is too high. Y’all, life is too short to stay stuck in the same mindset of yesteryear’s hurts and failed relationships. Often times, we psych ourselves out, overthinking the whole dating thing, and it leaves us on the sidelines watching everyone else get into loving relationships.
Look, if you want to be in a relationship, change your thinking; “for whatever so a man thinks, so is he.” If you think and believe that you deserve love, you will be able to give it and receive it. Positive thinking on things that are pure, good and praiseworthy really keep your mindset clear of the negativity and lies that will try to keep you down in this single walk. Having the right mindset will better prepare you for your dating season while allowing you to enjoy and make the most of your single season. Now where’s your head at?
Make use of your lessons learned
What I learned from that season was that my desires and God’s plans don’t always add up. I had a rested assurance that the Lord heard my prayer, but He took that time to show me things about myself in His answer. Truthfully, it doesn’t feel good getting a hard lesson or getting corrected, but God loves His children and He shows it through correction as well as blessings. The lessons in that dating season about me wanting to date showed me where my mindset and spiritual maturity really were and what I needed to do better next time.
I also realized that I didn’t want to be afraid to make mistakes. Fear is not from God and can very well get in the way of you receiving real love when it does arrive—to the point that you won’t be able to see it. We will continue to make mistakes, so we can’t put off something we truly want because all the pieces are not “as they should be.” In this season and the next, you will need God to guide you and keep you focused on what’s important, and when it’s time, you’ll be ready.
Hey BMWK fam, what made you realize that you weren’t really ready to start dating again?