I am a people person and have no problem starting a conversation with a complete stranger. It’s second nature for me. But I am often accused of flirting when I’m not. Because of this, I’ve made the connection that people are no longer used to socializing and meeting new people. Whether it’s the advent of texting, emailing or social media, real human interaction and all it entails has suffered. No wonder so many singles are complaining they aren’t meeting people; because if you aren’t communicating, you definitely aren’t flirting.
Flirting is an integral part of starting a relationship. It is a fun, playful way to let someone know you are interested. It doesn’t have to be laced with sexual undertones to communicate your interest. Flirting consists of basic verbal and non-verbal actions, which communicate your desire to get to know someone better. Attempting to flirt online or via text is doable, but without those nonverbal cues and the tone and cadence in your voice, the meaning can get lost in translation. The joy of flirting comes when you are able to interact with the person, exchange playful banter and witness their body language and responses to your interaction.
For some, flirting has become a lost art form. And for those women, I offer these six tips to help you with your flirting game.
Be Present:
No matter where you go people are looking down at their phones and not around at the people in the room. When you are out and about, put your phone away. Enjoy the moment and the people around you. Pay attention to your surroundings, and see if you can discover a few potential flirting candidates.
Smile More:
Any man will tell you the most beautiful feature on a woman is her smile (In fact, studies show men find smiling women far more attractive than non-smiling women ). A smile indicates that you are open, and it invites others to approach, speak or flirt with you. So smile.
Make Eye Contact:
If you find someone of interest, begin the flirting process first by smiling, then by making eye contact. Men can be insecure, so a man needs to know you are looking at him. Lock eyes with him and periodically look back, exchanging coy glances.
Be a Lady:
Men like for women to embrace their femininity—from their dress to their mannerisms, men find femininity very appealing. Flirting can occur by simply tossing your head to the side, playing with your hair, crossing your legs (especially if wearing a skirt and heels); it is all a part of the flirtation process.
Create Physical Interaction:
Research shows touch also makes your flirtations way more effective. In order to get someone’s attention, you can “accidentally” bump into them or slightly brush up against them. Your resulting apology could open the door for a conversation to begin.
Spark Verbal Interaction:
Engage in conversation with the individual by starting with an icebreaker. Give them a compliment or ask their opinion; just something light to get started.
Flirting is what gets the conversation started and what keeps the relationship going. Don’t make it laborious; walk in the confidence of who you are, have fun and go for it.
BMWK: How will you up your flirting game? For the pros, do you have a flirting tactic that works for you every time?