by Aja Dorsey Jackson
By now you’ve no doubt heard stories, posts and complaints about the many men that don’t attend church with their wives on Sunday mornings. My husband is one of those men.
While we were dating and engaged he attended church with me relatively often, maybe a couple of times a month. Those visits decreased sharply after we got married to the point where other than the couple times a year that I drag him out of the house kicking and screaming convince him to go. I am in church while he is at home watching the game, fixing stuff in the house or just hanging around kicking rocks.
It’s been this way for long enough that I no longer approach the topic with him anymore so it ceases to be an issue between us, at least verbally. But it remains an issue in my own mind.
Part of the reason for my annoyance at his lack of church attendance is purely practical. I think it is important for my kids to attend church but my two-year-old son is active and it’s difficult for me to keep him still and quiet through an entire church service alone. In those moments when he starts to get a little too rowdy and needs to be taken out, it would just be a lot easier to have another pair of hands.
I leave my son at home with my husband sometimes because of this, but take my daughter. However, I don’t want my son to start getting the impression that church is for girls. I also know the day is coming that he’ll ask why Daddy gets to stay home, and it makes me wish that he would be more of a presence.
But my reasons extend beyond the practical ones. To me, being able to attend church together would have a positive impact on our marriage. Each week I learn things that I think would help to strengthen us as a couple and as a family, but he’s not hearing them with me. Sometimes I come home and try to relay the message, but it’s not the same.
I think it would be easier for me to understand if he had a real reason for not going, but he doesn’t, at least not one that he’s communicated to me. For now, I’ve decided to let the issue rest and accept that he is only going to attend on Easter, Mother’s Day, and the occasional other Sunday. Still I would like to know why it is that like so many other wives I’m in church alone on Sunday morning.
Help me out men! Why are so many husbands staying home from church Sunday mornings? Wives, are you going to church alone? Is it important for couples to attend church together?
Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and public relations consultant in Baltimore, Maryland. Find out more about her at www.ajadorseyjackson.com or follow her on twitter @ajajackson.