Tired of the games people play in dating? I so know how you feel!
The modern dating culture is hard to figure out, isn’t it? People make snap judgments about each other by online dating photos, dating app swipes and “good morning” text messages.
It seems to all be a game, one that all too often leads to disappointment, exhaustion, frustration and even heartbreak. How can you tell if anyone is sincere? What should you do to find out if they’re serious about a relationship?
Related: 3 games men need to stop playing when they date
Some really bad dating advice out there tells you to play stupid games like:
- Don’t call a woman back right away
- Let the other person say “I love you” first
- Play hard to get if you want to get a man to pursue you
I say you’re too grown for games! If you want a serious relationship, you have to keep it real. Here’s how to keep it real in dating and relationships.
Just say it!
Just had an amazing first conversation and want to continue over coffee? Say something! Are you enjoying your date’s company? Say something! Don’t like it when the person texts you at 11:59 pm. Say something!
I’ve watched so many singles miss out on a potentially great relationship because they were too scared to share how they felt. The fear of rejection leads you to regret.
On the other hand, I’ve seen people get resentful and lash out at someone they were dating because the person broke their unspoken rules such as texting them after dark. If you prefer to talk on the phone instead of text, be grown enough to mention it. Just say, “I really like hearing from you, but I’d like it even more if I could hear your voice. There’s just something about it that makes me excited. Give me a call before 8 PM and we can talk.”
Ask for what you want
Huffing and puffing, eye-rolling, door slamming and giving the cold shoulder is how kids communicate when they can’t get their way. Grown folks use their words! If you want the person you’re dating to be more loving, more supportive, or more understanding, then ask for it. You may not get what you want, but at least you’ll know where you stand.
Related: Talking is good but here are 5 ways you can talk yourself right out of a good husband.
Tell the truth
This one may take some practice, because I think we are all a little afraid of the truth. For example, many men are scared to tell a woman that they’re no longer interested in seeing her. They don’t like the reaction they’ll get and so they just avoid confrontation altogether and disappear into thin air.
Sisters, we do it too! When a man asks, “are you ok?” and you answer “yes, I’m fine” but you have hurt feelings or something on your mind you want to discuss, you aren’t telling the truth.
Let me take it a step further and suggest that if you don’t share with that man that you want love, commitment and marriage, you are withholding information and pretending you’re fine with your current arrangement.
Tell the truth and shame the devil. It’s the fastest way to authentic relationships.
BMWK, what other games do people play in relationships? Which one is the most annoying?