I must admit that there are times when I get distracted by unnecessary things that keep me from being focused on being single. Sometimes it’s other people, TV, or my own thoughts. I realize then that I’m getting off track and need to refocus on what’s important to me in this season of singleness.
When you make the decision to be single and actively wait for God’s plan to unfold, you’re excited to pursue His plan for your life and not deciding to worry about marriage.
We all know of the Garden of Eden account in which Adam was single in the garden for a season. What many preachers and pastors say is that Adam was working, actively taking on the assignments that God had given him. Adam wasn’t complaining; he was too busy doing the Lord’s work. God made a mate (Eve) for Adam, to be a help for him later on.
Like Adam, just because you don’t have a mate in one season doesn’t mean you can’t be active, content, fulfilling your purpose now. In the single season or any season in which you will have to wait, you can prepare for what is to come in confidence and faith. Here are some tips on actively waiting and what women and men can do:
Know who you are.
Get to know yourself, get God’s view of yourself and live by that. Knowing who you are starts with knowing the Father. Get in that Bible and get to know His character and His wisdom for the kind of people He created and called. For instance, the word says that we are called to be righteous; are you being righteous in this season? Pursuing, that is actively waiting.
You may be recovering from a breakup, move, or new chapter in life and you realize that there’s more that you need to learn about yourself. Take notice of how you act in conflict, under stress, around new people, around old friends. Ask God to reveal you to yourself. I say that because we cannot realize that we get in our own way and listen to our own understanding of things and not wait for God’s way. Listen closely and let Him show you the true you and then work on what needs improvement with humility and determination to grow and mature.
Love on yourself.
Love you from the inside and out. Treat yourself to things every once in a while; eat healthy, take care of your body, feel good about yourself. So many of us see and do the false things of loving ourselves. Base your self-worth and love on your relationship with God and not on the accolades of people. Loving yourself includes self acceptance and forgiving yourself. Too many of us are lacking love for self. Loving yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary for healthy relationships with others. Let go of the hurt and give yourself a good look in the mirror. You are God’s creation, and you are loved.
Look straight.
Those flashing lights and sounds in life may seem interesting but they are simply distractions. There is something about a focused person that seems attractive. A focused person is laser-focused on a goal and is not distracted by the doubt, the time wasters, laziness, procrastination, fear, other people’s victories, and envy. You know what your obstacles are, now let’s overcome them.
God loves a focused disciple because they are not going to look back or look to the sides; they are going to be about their Father’s business. That drive and determination will open doors for the right people to add to you along the way. It’s so easy to get distracted nowadays, but stay strong and diligent to see your goal and assignment through to the end. This is a great practice for marriage, because it requires much focus and dedication to serving the Lord together and one another.
Live already!
Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 7:27 “Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.” When you are solely focused on finding a wife or waiting on a husband with nothing else going on, you’re essentially wasting your best days. Singles have so much freedom, and this is the best time to live and enjoy life. Not as the world enjoys life per say, but to live a life that is fulfilling and benefiting to your spirit and God’s purposes.
Overcome fears, learn new skills, or try new things outside of your comfort zone. Serve the Lord in new and fun ways that fit your personality and skill set best. So many of us are stuck because of family, job situation, school, living situation, but don’t let anything limit you. Declare that you will live and let God impart ideas into you to get going and enjoying your life in this season.
Ultimately you want to actively wait without letting singleness be a burden to carry, but a badge of honor. Your contentment will be contagious and you will attract the right people into your life.
BMWK fam, in what ways are you actively waiting in your single season?