This one is for singles out there who continue to run into challenges during the dating process when it comes to deciding what is tolerable for their particular relationship. None of us are perfect, so I’m not addressing each imperfection. But, it’s imperative to strive to be the best significant other we can be as we are working toward marriage.
I continue to hear others talk about accepting or dealing with less than someone’s best effort to build a great relationship together. We have to make conscious decisions on deciding where to draw the line on mistreatment, disrespect or even simple lack of concern in our relationships. Where do we draw the line?
You Draw the Line When They Don’t Pay Attention
As a relationship coach, hearing what my clients are sharing with me is not enough. I need to pay close attention to everything: tone, context clues, voice inflections, and emotions as well as content. These things are just as important in relationships too. If your partner isn’t paying attention to you, it shows a lack of concern for your thoughts, interests, and well-being.
We live in an ADD society today, but that lack of attention to other facets of our lives can’t be allowed to flow into our relationships. Your partner should make it a point to do more than hear you, they should be working to understand how you communicate and what you need and want from them. If they are not paying attention…then when are you going to draw the line?
You Draw the Line When They Disregard Your Time
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. When your partner has a disregard for your time, they’re essentially saying that their time is more important than your time. For me personally, if I’m in a relationship, I will value and be conscientious of my mate’s time. I will also prioritize their time. We’re all busy people. That said, especially for men, we will find the time to do what we want to do.
If he/she is not finding the time for you, where do you fit in his/her priority list? And at what point are you going to draw the line?
You Draw Line When They Disrespect You
Regardless of the context of any relationship, respect must be established before it can flourish. Respect covers a lot of ground, but the respect I’m relating to is being respected mentally and physically. You deserve better than people who disrespect your self-worth, your value system and your integrity. You also deserve people who respect your body, mind and heart as much as they would respect their mother’s or father’s.
When a person begins to disrespect you verbally, mentally or physically, the time to take action is immediately. Drawing the line on disrespect is one of the biggest challenges I see with clients. Respect should be earned and re-confirmed in each interaction. Draw the line earlier rather than later in cases of disrespect directed toward you.
These are three important points where you must learn when to say enough is enough. It’s also important for you to learn your deal breakers when dating, as you want to develop healthy relationships, instead of fostering long-term unhealthy relationships. Learning when enough is enough on the surface sounds negative, but it is actually learning boundaries to build and protect your self-esteem and self-worth.