What do you do when the very sight of your spouse gets on your nerves? Many of us have been here at some point in time. Let’s face the facts – at some point the best of us have challenges, even to the point that the very sight of your spouse gets on your nerves. I’m definitely not saying this is a good place to be. As well, it’s a spot you want to get out of as soon as mentally possible.
In your mind it may sound like this:
He sure does get on my nerves.
Oh Lord, here he comes again,
Please let her be asleep when I go up these stairs.
Or, let me stay out just a little while longer because I’m not ready to deal with her yet.
A bad argument, a disagreement, an annoying habit that drives you up the wall are just a few things that can send you to this bad place. You know what your situation is. You may not want to admit it, yet you know it’s true. Your mate may not even be aware you feel this way. It’s an uncomfortable place to be. Yet, the light at the end of the tunnel is that you don’t have to remain in this spot.
Here are 4 suggested ways to overcome this feeling.
- Realize this is a feeling that provokes emotion and you have control over your feelings and emotions. If you see her coming with her shoes off and you know that means she is getting ready to pick her toes and that just sends you into orbit, you can do something about that.
- Discuss the challenge with your mate. They may have no idea that an argument, comment, or disagreement has left you feeling this way. Honest dialogue about the situation may prevent the same thing from happening over and over again.
- Live in the moment. Allow the past to be a teacher within your marriage. Learn the lesson and move on. Living in the moment means you carry the lesson of the past, but you leave the negative emotional baggage of the past in the past where it belongs. You make a decision to enjoy every moment for what that moment is. It is hard to enjoy your spouse in the moment when the negative emotion of the past keeps showing up in your future.
- Give yourself space and opportunity to change. Yes, you. That may sound odd when your spouse is the one who is getting on your nerves. However, you will find as you continue growing, learning, maturing, within your marriage relationship, things that bothered you tremendously six months ago don’t bother you anymore. When you allow yourself the room to grow in your marriage, you will see how damaging this type of attitude is to your relationship.
Sometimes as human beings we want the other person to know we are upset. In some sort of warped way it validates our feelings or says we are standing our ground. Husbands and wives have to grow past this point and let arguments, offenses, and annoying habits grow us up rather than tear us apart. You can make it through these thoughts and feelings. Remember this:
It is hard to enjoy your spouse in the moment when the negative emotion of the past keeps showing up in your future.
Please note, I’m talking about things that are minor and become grand, not about abuse and neglect. If abuse and neglect are the case seek counseling and safety.
BMWK family can you feel where I am coming from? Can I get a comment or a click on “like” if you can relate?