Love is blind, at least in the beginning anyway. Many of us overlook certain behaviors our partners display because we love them, the good outweighs the bad, and because we secretly feel they will eventually change. During the honeymoon phase, in some marriages, couples pretend the things their spouses do that drive them crazy aren’t that big of a deal. Then all of a sudden, after we are fully invested in the marriage, the true feelings begin to emerge. The things we initially ignored are now wearing on our nerves and the complaining replaces normal conversation.
There are choices. We can continue to complain, ask our spouse to correct, or choose to accept. Either way, we neither physically nor mentally have the power to change another person. Our loving words can provide guidance and instruction and even our own actions will possibly promote transformation in our partner. But what if, after all of that, our spouse never changes. What if, what you see is what you get, forever? Are you willing to deal with a spouse who doesn’t help out around the house often enough? Or a spouse who sometimes talks entirely too much? For the most part, none of it should be a surprise. But will you be okay, if 10 years into the marriage everything is the same? Honestly, this is a strong possibility.
People don’t always change when or the way we would like them to. Thankfully, a huge part of being in love is acceptance. Accepting the good with the bad, the normal with the quirky and still loving unconditionally. We must keep in mind that not one of us is perfect. We all come with some form of baggage or habits we simply can’t help. Most of us are open to change and will make the necessary adjustments but there are still some who struggle, even when the desire may be there.
If our spouse never changes for us, it shouldn’t affect the happiness we create in our relationship. Couples should enter a marriage with their eyes wide open and with love and acceptance in their hearts. As long as there is joy, peace and the foundation of a healthy relationship, let’s live, love and enjoy our partners, just as they are.
BMWK, have you expected your spouse to change in certain areas? What has been the result?